Next week we'll see the release of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1, the beginning of the end of this madness. The Wife With One F has hauled us kicking and screaming to every film thus far, and we're a little miffed that the studio has dragged this out for two final films, meaning we'll have to do this again next November. We don't care how many pages the book is, we've seen it and the type is like 14 point double spaced. We're not talking Atlas Shrugged here. You could've got it in one.
Wasting a rare night out on this thinly veiled analogy for homosexuality being cured by finding the right girl crap mountain of a movie seems like a sin to us, but it's the tradeoff to being married to a girl who insists you watch the entire run of Doctor Who and reads Neil Gaiman. Still, there are some things we can think of that will make the experience bearable.
No other moviegoing convention has excited us more in recent years than the rise of bars in cinemas. Why this took so long to happen we will never know. It's not that we're a raging alcoholic that can't sit through a 90-minute period without a drink, it's just that some films really need booze to be appreciated...or survived, in this case.
We'll have to go to Alamo Drafthouse to catch the show since most of the in-town theaters that serve alcohol stick to art house films, but it's not that far, and sometimes you can still get a fairly good meal out of them, though that's been rarer lately.
We do most of the driving in our relationship since we have a better sense of direction and better eyesight, but not this time. Part of the deal in forcing us to see this film is a waiver on the drink limit, so bring on the stupid vampire baby storyline because we're not going to be feeling any pain.
We've spent our whole lives in Houston, and as much as we love the city, you have to admit that as far as landscapes go this part of Texas is pretty damned boring. It looks like what it is: herd land with some rivers.
While almost everything that's happening in the shots is eye-rollingly dumb, we have always really enjoyed what the cinematographers have accomplished with the films' settings. The icy mountains of Eclipse are our particular favorite, though the red moon hue given to all the New Moon shots was also pretty good. In our heads the woodland shots are narrated by David Attenborough, so that helps as well. It tends to drown out the dialogue and the wailing of our soul.
Alice Cullen is the quirky one in the Cullen vampire family. In Breakfast Club terms she's the Alliso... oh, we see what you did there, Stephenie. Well played.
Alice, and occasionally her boyfriend Jasper, are about the only characters you can even remotely find likeable in the films, though Jasper spends most of the first two being rather ridiculous. You walk around all day in a high school filled with menstruating girls and Bella lightly cutting her hand turns you into a homicidal maniac?
Anyway, back to Alice, who could win anyone over with her perky personality and the fact that she is portrayed by the increasingly hot Ashley Greene. She's Bella's best friend in the series, so she gets comparatively a lot of screen time and it helps the filmgoing experience very muchly. Especially next to Kristen Stewart, but then again...
