Film and TV

CBS Cancels First Show of the New Season. What's Next?

The ax has come out once again, and the networks' Fall programming line up, with its pipe dreams and million dollar budgets, is starting to get wacked. It happens like clockwork this time of year. Mid-September brings overbearing advertising campaigns and media blitzes, and mid-October brings broken dreams and plot lines that you never know the end to.

The first show to get cut is the CBS drama Made in Jersey. The show focuses on a Jersey gal who uses her knowledge of Bon Jovi and bar brawls to make it in a big New York City law firm. I guess folks are sick of New Jersey; sorry Chris Christie.

Next on the list of fall shows to get cut is the Dane Cook vehicle Next Caller, which hasn't even started yet! This should come as no surprise as everything Cook does, outside of screaming at drunk college freshman, fails miserably.

So what's next? There was an influx of new programming this season and not much of it looked particularly good. Let's put the cart before the horse and take stabs in the air at which shows will go next.

Animal PracticeI had high hopes for this show. It's got cute animals, hijinx and Kym Whitley from That's So Raven. Why wouldn't this be a huge hit for the Peacock network? No one seems to be tuning into the show; it is pulling in roughly three million viewers, which is not a good thing for a new show. I guess people hate animals -- animal haters all of you!

ArrowEven though the CW doesn't care much for ratings, they must know how ridiculous this show is. With a description like, he... "honed his archery skills on a deserted island for five years after surviving a boating accident that killed his father and girlfriend's sister, with whom he was having an affair." The world isn't ready for archer-vigilante/Jerry Springer-like plots.

Last ResortABC's latest thriller asks, "What do you get when you cross Crimson Tide with The Rock?" My guess is a mid-season cancelation.

The Mob DoctorDoctors are notoriously smart, so we all assume. And Dr. Grace Devlin, of The Mob Doctor, is a thoracic surgeon, which is so smart that no one even knows what type of doctor that is. Why would she get hooked up with the mob? That's just stupid. This show is going down like a fat mobster choking on a meatball parm.

NashvilleNot Nashville, you might be saying to yourself. It's gotten so much hype; people are loving it! It's all a deception. Nashville has The Emperor's New Clothes written all over it, meaning people are afraid to say this show sucks for fear they will be considered un-American because only Commies hate country music. Sociologists call it the Spiral of Silence; I call it Treme Disease.

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Abby Koenig
Contact: Abby Koenig