Film and TV

Cinema Slap Fight: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter vs. FDR: American Badass

Editor's Note: Please congratulate Jef With One F for breaking the record for number of colons used in a Houston Press headline.

Two presidents both alike in regard and respect, in fair Internet, where we store our trailers for upcoming films featuring chief executives that combat supernatural evil. From ancient... ah screw it, Will.

This week we've been happy to get not one but two trailers that reaffirm everything we love about film and America. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, adapted from the so-so novel with an awesome premise, is self-explanatory in regards to its plot. FDR: American Badass needs only a few clues to paint the scene, werewolves, Nazis and a mechanized wheelchair of death.

Both will surely make our current crop of candidates look boring in comparison, though we think that Obama has a certain cachet from hanging out with Spider-Man, something we haven't seen since the Bad Dudes rescued Ronald Reagan from Dragon Ninja. The question is who would win in a fight? Let's find out.

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner