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Film and TV

Cowboys vs. Aliens: 4 Other Random Movie Matchups

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Vampires vs. Frazzled Career Woman

Yeah, we're going with those vampires here. You know the ones. The ones from that movie whose title rhymes with "highlight." Melancholy, immortal, driven by angst, and totally wasting every moment of their un-life mooning over world-weary 15-year-olds. The more we think about it, the more it sounds like Pinhead obsessing over Claire Danes when she was on My So-Called Life.

Enter our frazzled career woman. She's capable and clumsy at the same time. She's adventurous but awkward. It's like your little sister running in your dad's tie pretending to be real people instead of something more appropriately feminine.

In this hilarious romantic comedy, Kate Hudson is a young CFO who doesn't have time for love until Jackson Rathbone falls through her skylight while mourning his eternal existence one night. Despite their different backgrounds and the fact that her new vampire friend can't stop mentioning how drawn he is to her smell, the two learn to appreciate other people in this kooky modern world. Just kidding, he eats everyone around her and keeps her chained to the bed in some sort of weird women-shouldn't-work statement with bondage overtones.

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner