If you are a David Sedaris fan and have some extra cash lying around, you have already gotten your tickets to his SPA-sponsored performance tonight at Jones Hall. If you are like the many broke Sedaris fans out there (me!), you have to sit around tonight pretending that you are listening to his unmistakably nasal retelling of his most popular stories. And if you've never heard of David Sedaris, then what have you been reading for the past 17 years?
David Sedaris is a legend among writers and readers alike. He had been working haphazard jobs around Illinois and New York when one night, while reading selections from his personal diary, he was discovered by NPR fixture Ira Glass. Sedaris became known for the honest and humorous portrayals of his personal experiences, as well as the oddball characters he has stumbled upon.
Sedaris is not just a best-selling author, but his live performances are also celebrated. Hearing him recite his stories aloud is as good (if not better) as reading them for yourself.
To amuse ourselves, we thought it might be very "David Sedaris" to mix Chinese-Fortune-Cookie-Logic with the funnyman's story titles and add the words "In Bed" to the end of them. Juvenile? Oh yeah, totally. But some of them actually worked.
I Like Guys In Bed (from Naked)
Us and Them In Bed (from Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim)
The Vigilant Rabbit In Bed (from Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk)
Jamboree In Bed (from Barrel Fever)
I Almost Saw This Girl Get Killed In Bed (from Me Talk Pretty One Day)
Jesus Shaves In Bed (from Me Talk Pretty One Day)
The Toad, The Turtle, and the Duck In Bed (from Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk)
What I Learned In Bed (from When You Are Engulfed in Flames)
Six to Eight Black Men In Bed (from Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim)
The Curly Kind In Bed (from Barrel Fever)
Old Faithful In Bed (from When You Are Engulfed in Flames)
Giant Dreams, Midget Abilities In Bed (from Me Talk Pretty One Day)
We Get Along In Bed (from Barrel Fever)
Something For Everyone In Bed (from Naked)
Genetic Engineering In Bed (from Me Talk Pretty One Day)
The End of the Affair In Bed (from Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim)
Big Boy In Bed (from Me Talk Pretty One Day)
A Can of Worms In Bed (from Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim)
Adult Figures Charging Toward a Concrete Toadstool In Bed (from When You Are Engulfed in Flames)
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