If Hollywood was a TV dinner, it would be the fried chicken, mashed potato, brownie kind. It's fine enough depending on how long you cook it for. If you undercook it, the brownie is gooey and can be eaten with a spoon, but the mashed potatoes are still frozen. Overcooked and your fried chicken is like eating Gumby's left leg. It's consistently boring and predictable. Hollywood doesn't even like to swap out its brownie for an apple crumble dessert thing. Nope, they keep on choosing to stick with their flaky mashed potatoes and white meat chicken.
What we're trying to say is...get some new ideas, Hollywood!
Last week, we were shocked to read that NBC (the same network potentially ending the critically acclaimed Community) has just ordered a pilot for a reboot of the 1960s television show The Munsters. The classic sitcom about a family of monsters is being transformed into an hour-long drama. Do you want to see an hour of Eddie Munster trying to fit in with his contemporaries? Will he be cyber-bullied due to being half werewolf? Do you care? You might be Googling aloud as you read this, "Wasn't there already a remake of The Munsters?" You are correct, there was, which makes this current incarnation a second remake of the same show!
This news comes on the heels of a long line of recent television remakes that completely missed their mark, most recently with the flop of ABC's Charlie's Angels. Granted, sometimes a remake does work for the tube; last year's addition of Hawaii 5-0 to the CBS lineup has made high ratings in the Nielsen numbers department. But for every 5-0 there are ten other Dragnets, Knight Riders (remember that?), Melrose Places and Vs. Doesn't anyone in the television industry have a spec script lying around with characters we've never heard of before?
Over on the big screen, it doesn't get much better. With upcoming movie renditions of television classics such as The Lone Ranger and the Gothic soap Dark Shadows, as well as the exhaustive list of movie re-dos (Dirty Dancing is now officially being released July 2013), it's time for a change.
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As your local culture commentators, we have just made it our duty to point out all of Hollywood's regurgitations as they come across our desk. Stay tuned.