Dear Hollywood, Get Some New Ideas: Starship Troopers, The Firm

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We were somewhat shocked the other day to read that Starship Troopers, the alien-bug gorefest, is getting a reboot. Why were we so perplexed by this particular remaking when we have already established that Hollywood has no new thoughts? Typically, when Hollywood reboots a "franchise," which, sadly, Starship Troopers is, they do it because of the success of the movie. A reboot normally is a chance for another director to interpret the work of a film that a dedicated audience wants to see happen. Who in the hell wants to see another Starship Troopers?

I say this coming at it from two angles. There are divided camps pertaining to Starship Troopers. One side of the coin finds the majority of people who see this film to be nothing but a waste of celluloid, full of lifeless acting, ridiculous special effects and an over-the-top amount of blood. On the flip side, there are those people that see the film as a satirical antiwar film, a hilarious work of pure genius and one of director Paul Verhoeven's best.

So, of those two competing sides, why would either party be looking for a new cut?

Starship Troopers just happened to be on cable this past weekend, and I was (again) reminded of its brilliance and further annoyed by the thought of the next incarnation of this movie, slated to be directed by Neal Moritz, of The Fast and the Furious fame. I shudder to think of the outcome.

The Firm was a best-selling book by John Grisham, turned best-selling movie starring Tom Cruise. It did its job as a legal thriller with some decent acting from a mostly top-notch cast; Holly Hunter was nominated for an Academy Award for her role. The film ends and that's the end of it. Tom Cruise drives off into the sunset, again a hero to the world.

Premiering in January, The Firm will become a television show on NBC. The TV Firm takes place ten years after the movie ends, meaning it has nothing to do with the book or movie, they just kept character names for fans and back stories that will be forgotten by episode two. We are confused as to why they are calling it The Firm rather than, say, LA Law 2 or CSI: Something or Other? Hollywood, if you are going to pretend to remake The Firm as a television show, just call it something else, and keep The Firm's good name away from the NBC curse of ruining everything it touches as a network.

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