Imagine, if you will, you are running around an enclosed stadium. You look behind you and notice that there are several angry, snorting bulls chasing you. And just as one of the animals closes in on you to maul you, you remember that you signed up for this and paid a fair sum of money to be placed in this situation.
Now imagine you are in Houston.
Introducing The Great Bull Run, a fun-filled day of willing participants running like hell to get away from a bunch of massive beasts. Taking cues from the famous Running of the Bulls of the San Fermín festival in Pamplona, Spain, the Great Bull Run is a multi-city event that will kick off in August in Virginia.
And because we are a very lucky city, the event comes to Houston on December 7. I know, it's a long time away to dream about not getting killed by bulls, but you'll just have to sit tight.
The Great Bull Run promises adventure and excitement and potential death (although they warn you about the latter, and I wouldn't be surprised if you have to sign some liability paperwork). It is noted that in Spain, there have only been 15 deaths in the 102 years that the Running of the Bulls has taken place, which is not bad when you think about how many people die from eating too much McDonald's. You weigh out the risks for yourself.
If this bull idea makes you want to cry in a hole, you can still participate in the day of fun. In addition to running away from massive animals hell-bent on trampling you, there will be something called the Tomato Royale, which is for all intents and purposes a giant tomato food fight. I don't know which event promises more self-degradation and potential embarrassment; they are probably equal on many levels.
In addition to being maimed and wasting vegetables (fruits?) that could feed starving children in Africa, there will be food, music, games and beer, and when you register you get a free, exclusive bull run bandanna, which should make the whole experience worthwhile.
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According to their Web site, The Great Bull Run treats its bulls humanely, and when they aren't trying to kill people, they frolic peacefully on a free-range farm where in the evenings they all gather around the boob tube to watch their favorite movie, Ferdinand the Bull.
If this sounds like the perfect way to spend a Saturday afternoon, you can learn more from their Web site. The Houston run takes place on December 7 and will be in an area of town that I like to call Baytown because that's what it's called. I suppose it's close enough. I have no idea where you could even do something like this inside the Loop? The intersection of Westheimer and Dunlavy?
Actually, I would be down to watch if it happened in the Galleria, especially around the holidays. I would even pay a hefty sum if they did it on the ice rink. That would be amazing.