9. The audience is always right and they're the only ones you can trust.

"You may think a joke is funny. Your own friends can tell you that a joke is funny. Your Twitter buddies might even think a joke is funny. But if you go onstage and tell that joke to an audience of people who don't know you, and they don't laugh, that joke is actually not funny. Maybe later, when you are a working pro comic with a fan following, you can start blaming the crowd when something doesn't work...but until then, it is you and not them."

10. Ask many questions and make friends with pros and other open-mike performers.

"With very few exceptions, comedians are friendly to one another and want to help those brave enough to try telling jokes in public. Don't be shy, go right up to comics at an open mike, introduce yourself and ask for advice. We've all been through the hell and euphoria you are experiencing and will be glad to lend a hand and give you tips.

Remember this: More Americans are afraid of speaking in public than being naked in public. By even attempting stand-up comedy, you are conquering one of the greatest fears people have in this modern world. Doing stand-up comedy, even when it goes poorly, is invigorating. It's as exciting as skydiving except it's cheaper, takes longer and more people die from it each year."