Dreaming of Bigger Things

Carmen simply must increase her bust. "Ever since they started developing," says the 19-year-old North Harris Community College student, "I never was really happy with them...I thought I should just wait and see if they're gonna grow any more. But they've been the same size for years, and I know for a fact that they're not gonna grow any more." That is, unless enough people visit her Web site, www.donateboobs.com, and send her money for a boob job.So far, it's slow going. Carmen put up the site on February 21, and to date she's received a grand total of $29.49. But 7,900 people have visited the site, and she's received lots of feedback -- some supportive, some less so. She's posted several of the letters on the site, including this one: "I would like to donate some of my self-esteem, it doesn't seem like you have any!...What next, will you be on a stripper pole?" Her reply: "There may be some strong and independent women you know in YOUR life who have implants and you don't even know it."

Carmen, who works part-time as a secretary, seems to have struck the perfect balance between good girl and bad girl. There aren't any naked pictures on the site, but there's a teasing "boob cam," and under the "Boobalicious Dreams" section, she writes about her big-titty fantasies: "Wearing my pretty long silver locket and having it fall softly in my cleavage. ;)" Carmen does promise to send big contributors "before" and "after" shots. But before you pull your wallet out, you should know something. Says Carmen, "They're not gonna be nude." Come on, Carmen, give something back to the community!- Cathy Matusow

FRI 3/14
Rope a Stud
Wanna be a cowgirl? First you need your cowboy. Lucky for you, 30 of them will be on hand for Midnight Rodeo's Charity Bachelor Auction (benefiting the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society). Arrive early so you can scope out the bachelors and nibble on fajitas before the auction. And remember, ladies, no catfights -- there are plenty of studs to go around. Doors open at 6 p.m., and the auction starts at 9 p.m. Midnight Rodeo, 5000 Katy Mills Circle, no. 151. For information, call 281-859-5934 or visit www.houstonbachelorauction.com. $4 cover charge after 8 p.m. -- Cathy Matusow

MON 3/17
Late Bloomer
Poet C.K. Williams
Poet C.K. Williams grew up hating English class and loving horses, basketball and girls. "Poetry didn't find me, in the cradle or anywhere near it," he has written. But eventually, one of those distracting girls inspired him to write. She liked poetry, so he penned a few poems. From that casual beginning, Williams went on to become a "serious" poet. In the 1960s Williams wrote poems that fulfilled a moral, social function, tackling such subjects as the civil rights movement and the holocaust. His most recent book of poetry, Repair, which won the 2000 Pulitzer Prize, uses his characteristic long, probing lines and urban images to delve into the depths of consciousness, complex relationships and essential human connectedness. Talk about serious. Williams reads and discusses his work along with Slovenian poet Tomaz Salamun as part of Inprint's Margarett Root Brown Reading Series. 7:30 p.m. Alley Theatre, 615 Texas. For information, call 713-521-2026. $5 suggested donation. - Lisa Levy

Master Class
Kurosawa is king
Director Akira Kurosawa isn't so popular in his native Japan, but his "Western" approach to filmmaking -- grand epics, spectacular action sequences and romantic sentimentality -- has endeared him to European and American audiences. As a tribute to Kurosawa, who died in 1998, the Museum of Fine Arts is screening nine of the master's best films.Spanning the years 1948 to 1963, the compilation spotlights Kurosawa's most influential work and chronicles the director's collaboration with actor Toshiro Mifune. Yojimbo (1961) is the story of a wandering ronin (Mifune), a samurai with no master, who pits two rival clans against each other just so he can watch the karmic carnage. (Italian director Sergio Leone would later translate Yojimbo into the Clint Eastwood vehicle A Fistful of Dollars.) Shakespeare's Macbeth gets distilled and reinterpreted in Throne of Blood, Kurosawa's brilliant 1957 period piece that imagines the Scottish lord as a valiant samurai warrior. And R2-D2 and C-3PO bear striking resemblance to the two misfit soldiers in The Hidden Fortress (1958), a film George Lucas admits was a heavy influence on Star Wars. Friday, March 14, through Sunday, April 27. Brown Auditorium, 1001 Bissonnet. For showtimes, call 713-639-7515. $6. -- Troy Schulze

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