Drugstore Halloween: Cheap Last-Minute Costumes Without the Crowd

Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

Have you tried going to Frankel's yet? If not, you're pretty much screwed. I mean, Halloween is only a few days away, the best stuff is probably already cleaned out and if you try going before the weekend is up, you'll be like every other asshole who waits until Christmas Eve to buy gifts for the whole family.

Luckily, we were at Walgreens the other day and noticed they've got an aisle entirely devoted to "spooky" makeup all set up. It's that magical time of year when weird girls everywhere stock up on green nail polish, black lipstick and novelty eyelashes. Our local grocery store even had costumes next to the candy in their seasonal aisle. And last weekend we scored some bad-ass glow-in-the-dark knit gloves from Target's boys aisle, already marked down to $1 (!!!), which we plan on wearing all winter long.

If you're still looking for a costume, don't fight the crowds at the party store. Check out what we found at our local Walgreens, Randalls and elsewhere.

Goth Girls

Goth shouldn't be something that is foisted on children, it should be earned through formative years of teasing bullying at the hand of one's peers, and repeated viewings of Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula in a dark room while other children are riding bikes and eating ice cream.


Don't go out at all for Halloween, and instead scare trick-or-treaters and their parents at your front door with tales of how you can wear them without underwear, which saves on expensive laundry detergent in the long run since your wife left you for her physical therapist and you are going broke trying to at least get partial custody of the kids that may not even be yours, come to think of it.


Some dumbass is bound to have no other gloves in his possession other than these and to rob a bank with them. Also, um, Undead E.T.?

Tattoo Sleeves

All people with tattoos have mohawks and wear corpse paint and wear lounge pants everywhere they go. Also, what's with the sleeve only going to the shoulders?

Long Hair Mask

Keep this one until Christmas time and go as Father Methmas to all the hot holiday parties. He's making a list and checking it twice while he takes apart the TV he just stole to make sure there are no spies inside it.


These flimsy nails are all fun and games until you have to fight off a drunken high school jock in the upstairs bathroom at your friend's party.


Skullteeth seem less suited for pirates than for bloodthirsty Mexican drug cartel foot soldiers who would decapitate a whole bus of softball players just to steal the bus for trafficking. But have fun with the teeth, BOO! and such and so forth.

Clown Mask

Which is it, a clown mask or a hockey mask?


Only for the most nonthreatening suburban rapper ever. Student council treasurer, fool.


Ten bucks says it smells just like that Mocha Axe, popcorn salt, and bleaches your clothes.


We think this is supposed to be a Snooki wig, but we have a better idea. Grab those tattoo sleeves, some black eyeliner and go as undead Amy Winehouse.

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.