Epic Fireworks Fails in the Houston Area

The Houston Symphony performance at Miller Outdoor Theatre is one of our favorite Fourth of July happenings.
The Houston Symphony performance at Miller Outdoor Theatre is one of our favorite Fourth of July happenings. Photo by Adam Baker via CC
When fireworks are done right, it's a beautiful thing. Timing, choreography and safety are key in pyrotechnics, but sometimes things go horribly wrong. Here's our look at some epic fireworks fails in the Houston area. Kids, don't try this at home.

Bad idea #1: Using a backyard grill as a launchpad.

Bad idea #2: When neighbors begin shooting off fireworks in the parking lot, why is it that even more folks will begin to show up like zombies at the mall? The odds will never be in your favor.

Bad idea #3: Looking down a flagpole pipe to see why your firecracker didn't go off. You only have two eyes; is this worth losing one of them?

Bad idea #4: The car alarm going off was the first clue, but when people are yelling "man down," maybe stopping to check on the welfare of your loved ones would have been prudent.

Bad idea #5: If you're going to invest in fireworks, perhaps consider buying more than just one sparkler.

Bad idea #6: If MUFON is reporting strange objects in the sky, this is not the time to be hanging out in your backyard, people. Haven't you read anything by Whitley Strieber?

Bad idea #7: Who else knows about the dangers of fireworks better than our local heroes who have to clean up after these disasters? The Houston Fire Department has a few tips for not ending up en fuego.

Bad idea #8: If your neighbor begins wearing camo and carting home supplies of fuses, shells and flammable powder, maybe it's time for an intervention or a quick trip out of town.

Bad idea #9: Not from Houston, but if you see your neighbors setting up something like this in their backyard, do us a solid and call 911.

Bad idea #10: We should actually count our blessings that there aren't more Houston-area fails. We'll wrap this up with a tribute to the good old USA, where stupidity runs amok.
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Susie Tommaney is a contributing writer who enjoys covering the lively arts and culture scene in Houston and surrounding areas, connecting creative makers with the Houston Press readers to make every week a great one.
Contact: Susie Tommaney