Video

Five Real-Life Candidates for Mortal Kombat

This month will net us the reboot of the famous Mortal Kombat video games series. Speaking as someone who was in middle school when Mortal Monday happened, we cannot help but be excited to see the old blood fountain take a shot at rewriting its own history.

Back in the day, you had real life actors portraying the kombatants. That particular effect wasn't very special, but it did lend some cachet to ripping off a person's head. Those body scans have now been replaced with more versatile computer generated images. That's too bad because Art Attack can name at least five people right off the top of our head who would be fantastic to scan and brutalize with.

1. DENNIS AVNER

Dennis Avner is a former Navy sonar technician of Native American descent. One day he had a conversation with a Native chief who told him to follow the way of the tiger, Avner's personal totem.

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Jef Rouner is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner