Film and TV

Game Of Thrones: "If You Think This Has A Happy Ending, You Haven't Been Paying Attention."

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Locations Highlighted in the Opening Titles (* =new): King's Landing, Harrenhal, Riverrun, Winterfell, The Wall, Yunkai -- which is actually bullshit, because:

Ser(s) Not Appearing In This Episode: Daenerys, Jorah, Barristan, Stannis, Davos, Shireen, Selyse and her jars

Sam (John Bradley) and Gilly (Hannah Murray) (and Craster, Jr.) have fled the mutiny at the Keep and are a few days from the Wall. Before we can question the wisdom of building a fire while fleeing traitors and the evil dead (Gilly's looks of resignation was priceless), Sam flashes Chekhov's dagger, AKA the "dragonglass" weapon he found at the Fist of the First Men. I hope that comes in handy at some point.

Seems like there are lots of people out in the woods these days. Osha (Natalia Tena) and Meera (Ellie Kendrick) among them. And newsflash: they aren't getting along, though they end up mending fences when Jojen (Thomas Sangster) has a vision/seizure in which he tells Bran (Isaac Hempstead-Wright) he sees Jon Snow "on the wrong side of the wall and surrounded by enemies." Which is our cue to cut to:

Tormund's squad is going up over the Wall. Jon's (Kit Harington) loyalties are called into question by Ygritte (Rose Leslie), who insists their only allies are each other. They make it to the top of the Wall, and what would a climbing scene be without a few false alarms? Or one of the climbers (Orell) trying to cut Jon and Ygritte loose? That's one dead warg once Jon gets feelings back in his shoulders, I reckon.

Melisandre (Carice Van Houten) and company visit the Brotherhood Without Banners. She chastises Thoros (Paul Kaye) for failing in his mission to turn King Robert to the Lord of Light. She's also ... intrigued with his handiwork re: Beric Dondarrion (Richard Dormer). More importantly, the Brotherhood "has someone the Lord of Light needs." Exit Gendry (Joe Dempsie), as king's blood is worth more than loyalty, much to Arya's (Maisie Williams) dismay. Once again, Williams gets some of the best scenes, this time with Van Houten, as Melisandre sees something sinister in Arya's future, and promises they'll meet again. This probably bodes ill for Melisandre.

Theon's tormentor (Iwan Rheon) is a right bastard (wait for it). They play a rather bloody version of 20 questions and at the end of it, he takes Theon's (Alfie Allen) little finger. The "heir of House Greyjoy's" miseries are just beginning, and we still know nothing about this person (well, if you've read the books you know). Though the guy's comment about no happy endings has a certain ... prophetic quality to it. I see a buddy movie spin-off with this guy and Joffrey.

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Peter Vonder Haar writes movie reviews for the Houston Press and the occasional book. The first three novels in the "Clarke & Clarke Mysteries" - Lucky Town, Point Blank, and Empty Sky - are out now.
Contact: Pete Vonder Haar