Those of us that more or less came of age around the turn of the Millennium are victims of a fabricated nostalgia for times and places we only barely remember. Sure, most of us were born in the '80s, but if we're truly honest with ourselves, we really don't remember that much. We don't rememberThriller
. We don't remember seeing E.T. in the movie theater. We don't remember Reaganomics. We just wish we did (maybe not so much that last one).
But I guess we've run '80s nostalgia ragged. With the tremendous success of TeenNick's late-night '90s block, featuring reruns of shows like Kenan and Kel, See All That and Clarissa Explains It All, the '90s are officially the new '80s.
Now, that's a decade we definitely remember. And sure, we'd like to think of it as mostly a bygone era of economic boom and a bunch of twentysomethings perpetually playing in a fountain, but there were certainly a few things that sucked about the '90s.
Here are 10 things we will never miss.
It ran for seven seasons, so it has to be good, right?
9. Kelsey Grammer in anything except FrasierDown Periscope
was made because why?
8. The Rachel
If you got a haircut because it's named after your favorite character in a sitcom, you are probably not worth talking to. I mean, whose favorite character in Friends is Rachel, anyway?
7. Andrew "Dice" Clay trying to do sitcoms
He dropped the "Dice" from his name, so he's totally reinvented now.
"Intelligent" toys that learned how to talk. So if they became self-aware, they could roll around and make it slightly inconvenient for us to walk around.
5. The Nanny
The only reason to watch this show is for the butler. No one should ever watch this for Fran Drescher.
4. People quoting lines about money from popular movies
"Where's the money, Lebowski," "Show me the money" and "One MILLION dollars" are best in their original context. Just shut up, already.
3. Zack Morris-style cell phones
They might have been one of the reasons we never hear about 1-800-COLLECT anymore, but it was still the equivalent of holding a brick up to your head.
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Zima was okay if you were in the mood for something that neither tasted good nor got you drunk. While we're on the subject...
1. Crystal Pepsi
Right now? More like never, ever, ever right.