Glorious Sideboob Goes Above Ground at the Golden Globes

Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

Last night social media was buzzing around the Golden Globes, first at Jodie Foster's glowing Cecil B. DeMille lifetime achievement award acceptance speech (where she came out of the closet again) and, of course, the copious sideboob all over the awards event itself.

And not just sideboob, but also inner sideboob, trumping regular horizontal cleavage.

And yes, sideboob has its own scientific name. So if you feel dirty saying "sideboob" today at the water cooler, just say you dug all "that sweet sweet Tail Of Spence action" at the Globes, and tell your HR person to eat it.

But sideboob is not the same as a nip slip, no sir. That's a whole other strange NSFW universe.

The fact that in a world where hardcore porn can be viewed on your phone at the grocery store or a tap recital, something as innocent as sideboob can snag the world's imagination...proves that as a whole we are still old-fashioned at heart.

Long only a genre of cleavage known to Internet perverts and Maxim and Rolling Stone magazine covers, traditional sideboob went mainstream last night. In a classy way, not the late-'00s Tara Reid and Lindsay Lohan way, full of scars and track marks.

If only Miley Cyrus were there last night to really show the word how to do sideboob. She's the queen of sideboob. Coupled with a vintage Brigitte Nielsen haircut, it's lethal.

Amy Poehler even had inner sideboob, with many asking if the country and the foreign press were ready for a funny woman to have sideboob. Hint: We are very ready.

By hook or by crook or by specially placed garment tape, even Taylor Swift had inner sideboob. Not only at the Globes, but at last week's People's Choice Awards. Katharine McPhee's sideboob was a big winner, though I had to Wiki her to make sure she was still on that one show about dancing.

Actress Jessica Chastain's sideboob may have even given her Oscar chances a big shot in the proverbial arm this year, if only the voters were snarky bloggers on Twitter.

Clair Danes, receiving a deserved career resurgence due to Homeland, rocked the sideboob.

And no, to answer all of your questions, Catherine Zeta-Jones was sporting 43-year-old cleavage, and not sideboob.

The #sideboob hashtag was bumping all night long as photos circulated of the actresses walking along the red carpet.

Is this a foreshadowing of what's to come this awards season? Who knows, but surely we'll all be watching and waiting, for sideboob.

Will the world ever see the exotic phenomenon of underboob get its time in the limelight? Only time -- and plastic surgeons -- will tell.

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.