Grudge Match

THU 5/8
After the United States' 2-0 win over Mexico at last year's World Cup in Korea, the Mexican players have been chomping at the bit for revenge on the gringos, who don't even know the proper name for the sport. Houston is the perfect city for this rematch. While it's a home game for the U.S. boys, a huge pro-Mexican contingent is expected to attend.Mexico sees the U.S. as a lesser soccer nation, which of course it is. But make no mistake: Over the past ten years, America has become a contender in the realm of world fútbol. The U.S. holds a meager 10-28-9 all-time record against Mexico, but half of those ten wins were in the last three years. Let's turn it up to 11. 7 p.m. Thursday, May 8. Reliant Stadium, One Reliant Park. For information or tickets, call 713-629-3700 or visit $24 to $75. -- Matt Sonzala

SAT 5/10
Adrenaline Monkeys

ClubMonkey Sports believes every child should have the opportunity to ride a Jet Ski, regardless of physical handicaps. Hell, yeah. The club finances the stimulation of disabled kids' adrenal glands through charity sporting events such as Saturday's Battle for Texas Softball Tournament benefiting Texas Adaptive Aquatics. Last year's event drew more than 30 teams. "Some teams even came in from Dallas," says ClubMonkey's Corey Johnston. They'll compete in five divisions for prizes, including bottles of Smirnoff vodka and 12-packs of Anheuser-Busch beer. Runners-up get "Astros goodie bags," leftover stashes of promo items like magnets and clocks. Will the spectators get anything? "Smirnoff's doing a wiffle-ball promotion," says Johnston. Hell, yeah. 9 a.m. Saturday, May 10. Houston Sportsplex, 12631 South Main. For information, call 713-522-0881. $200 per team; free for spectators. -- Troy Schulze

Get Out

Some people feel absolutely no compulsion to enjoy the great outdoors. They sit on their asses playing video games on even the most glorious afternoons. If you count yourself among this group, this one's for you: Gondola Houston's rides on Clear Lake. That's right, you can sit back while somebody else paddles you around, and you can even bring your favorite champagne along on the journey. Warning: If the only light your skin has seen lately is the glow of the TV, you might want to take an evening cruise. Hours by appointment. Star Fleet Marina, 280 Grove Road, Kemah. For information and reservations, call 713-466-3652 or visit $100 for two. -- Cathy Matusow

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