If you watched any NFL wildcard football last weekend, you saw it. And if you didn't, I'm here to make sure you see it anyway, because why should the rest of us be the only ones to suffer?
Several friend of mine compared this (unfavorably) to Love You Forever, a favorite book of Norman Bates' mother. I get that Old Spice was mocking overly clingy moms (while at the same time putting forward the questionable proposition that young men would select a body spray manufactured by the same people who made Grandpa's cologne). i'm just not sure I needed seeing a bunch of women in housecoats emerging like the T-1000 from interior walls (or bushes) to make the point.
So objectively, it's pretty disturbing. But is it more disturbing than these? Do you dare seek out the terrifying truth?
"Smilin' Bob" - Enzyte
It's been a while since Bob's terrifying rictus graced late night TV, so I don't know if this company is still in business or "researchers" have turned their "talents" to transmuting lead into gold.
It's hard to decide which is more off-putting in this particular spot, the idea that a group of women would want to sit on a leering Santa's lap because of his "huge cock" (read the woman's lips), or that I'm kind of attracted to the brunette who's first in line.
"Chocolate Man" - Axe Body Spray
Maybe we should rethink this whole "body spray" concept, as its sole purpose seems to be spawning this adolescent fantasy bullshit (see also). As Henry Rollins once said, he'd probably like Limp Bizkit too if he was 14 years old, but does anyone who's successfully completed puberty use this stuff?
"Chocolate Man" would be secondary to AXE's "centaur" commercial, by the way.
"Pennywise's Dad" - Post Rice Krinkles Cereal
If you've ever puzzled at the ancient origins of mankind's fear of clowns, look no further than this 1960s cereal commercial. Oh, he *sounds* friendly enough -- so did Tim Curry in It -- but look at those lifeless eyes, like a doll's eyes.
"Hamsterdam" - Kia
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It isn't just that there are giant hamsters walking around, singing Black Sheep songs, and menacing our human women: it's that they're clearly on drugs (0:17 mark). And if there's anything worse than the idea of a six-foot rodent, it's a six-foot rodent on PCP.