Today is actress Jodie Sweetin's birthday. The co-star of television's Full House turns 30 today, making us all who grew up with her immediately old. Considering that Jonathan Taylor Thomas turned 30 himself a few months back, I should be looking into getting my affairs in order.
As Pink Floyd sang, "You're older, shorter of breath and one day closer to death."
Sweetin's character, the meddlesome and whiny middle sister Stephanie Tanner, was one of the most annoying little sisters in television history. This is the same broad who turned down Duckface in season three and really awful alterna-teens friends in later seasons.
I never liked her much, preferring the thick and sensual DJ Tanner or Aunt Rebecca for my preteen fantasy fodder. Though in the end, Sweetin would out-hot them all. Here, look at her now. Rarr!
I polled the Facebook peanut gallery and asked them who they thought were the most annoying kid sisters in television history. You would be surprised how angry some people got, dredging up old horrible memories of imaginary characters they never even met. Little sisters don't get any respect, mainly because they are always causing trouble or ruining your life.
Olivia, The Cosby Show
Some folks were really against Raven-Symoné's character Olivia, and the whole Cosby cast in general. What a difference two decades makes.
Chrissy Seaver, Growing Pains
What did Chrissy ever do to anyone, besides ruin Mrs. Seaver's sinfully tight body?
Quinn Morgendorffer, Daria
Okay, Quinn was annoying as hell, but she was pretty hot for a cartoon character. It was those '90s baby-doll tees. Alicia "Al" Lambert, Step by Step
Not many people remember this ABC family sitcom, a sort of modern update on The Brady Bunch with Patrick Duffy and Suzanne Somers teaming up to raise their families together.
Jennifer Keaton, Family Ties
Well, Tina Yothers is kind of bothersome in general.
Claudia Salinger, Party of Five
Yeah, she had a mousy voice and was prone to crying, but she grew up pretty fine, we think.
Jan or Cindy Brady, The Brady Bunch
Take your pick: Do you want a meddlesome and jealous, conniving snake, or a naive and lisping, stupid baby doody-head?
Joanie Cunningham, Happy Days
She took valuable screen time from Potsie and Fonzie, which we can never forgive. Dawn Summers, Buffy The Vampire Slayer
"She can't do anything and they have to save her the entire time," says my friend Shan.
Dora Winifred, Arthur
Kind of obscure, coming from local singer-lady Kam Franklin, but from what we have seen of Arthur in a hungover haze on local TV on Saturday mornings, DW was kinda lame.
Vanessa Huxtable, The Cosby Show
The constant eye-rolling and the hair! Jeez! Plus, remember when she got drunk?
Danielle Chase, My So-Called Life
"She was pretty desperate for love," says Sharon, a Houston hairstylist.
Ferguson Darling, Clarissa Explains It All
Yes, I know he was a dude, but holy hell, what a jerk-off dweeb. He probably works for Apple now or something, and thinks his shit doesn't stink.
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Judy Winslow, Family Matters
She walked upstairs in season four, only to emerge later on in real life as a porn star, which isn't annoying as much as it is creepy.