It's time for American Idol, the show that dares ask the question, "What the f*ck is will.i.am still doing here?" Seriously, when do they make him a judge?
In case you hadn't heard, Jennifer Lopez was selected World's Most Beautiful Woman by...Cat Fancy or something. This provided a brief respite before the actual business of the evening, something called "Music from the Movies." Last night found the remaining eight contestants belting out cinema standards from the likes of Nat King Cole and Simon & Garfunkel.
And Miley Cyrus and Boyz II Men. Bitter with the sweet, as Van Helsing once said.
The Paul McDonald Experience is officially over. Same suit, same goofy dance, same "unique" vocal stylings. Dude is the luckiest man alive not named Stefano still in competition, not that you'd know from the judges' reaction. They loved him. Then again, they love everybody.
Miley Cyrus' "The Climb?" Give Lauren Alaina credit, she's apparently not afraid of backlash from the [young voting bloc] of her choice. And if they need an excuse to put a figurative boot in her ass this week, she was off key for much of the song, which makes Jimmy Iovine ("You've got a better voice than Miley") sound pretty dumb. The judges, who have been incapable of negative thoughts for about three weeks now, think she's the cat's pajamas.
Stefano Langone "slayed" (according to Randy) "End of the Road," which would appear to mean he's "in it to win it." It's funny to see Stefano's reaction to the completely expected praise. His face is like the guy who's the sole survivor in a foxhole after all his buddies have been disemboweled by machine guns.
Hey everybody, Scotty McCreery's "going back to his country roots" with "I Cross My Heart" from Pure Country. Thank Christ, I was afraid he'd do something from New Jack City. Steven thinks America is falling in love with his voice. Why not? They fell in love when George Strait used it.
Casey Abrams didn't gain any new converts to the cause by trotting out a 70-plus-year-old Nat King Cole chestnut ("Nature Boy"). The judges agree, criticizing his poor choice and...just kidding. Standing O. Don't you believe it.
