The Republicans are whittling down now to the bare bones. Not to discredit anyone, but the race is basically Rom vs. Newt for the win. While we don't really miss the circus show that was the Republican Party just a few short months ago, at least we had more options. Now that we are getting down to the wire, sides will have to be chosen and we're excited to see who will come out of the woodwork to support which candidate.
Speaking of taking sides and coming out of the woodwork, Alec Baldwin came out and backed Mitt Romney. Wait no, Alec Baldwin came out and said that his television persona Jack Donaghy, from the NBC sitcom 30 Rock, would support Romney.
Not too much of a shocker there, in a 2007 episode of the show Jack hosted a fundraiser for the frontrunner and is very active in the Grand Old Party (he dated Condi Rice). There is nothing better than finding out what team an actor bats for, but a fictional character? Woah! Now we want to sit around and daydream about whom the characters from our favorite shows would vote for.
OK, we will (but we're throwing all the candidates back in the ring). Art Attack explores whom your favorite television characters would vote for.
The Cast of Cheers Would Vote for Newt Gingrich
Why? Well, you have to be perpetually drunk to think that anything that comes out of Newt's mouth makes any sense. (Does he really think the Founding Fathers encouraged religious expression in the public squares?) As a small business owner, Sam and/or Rebecca would probably be thrilled with Gingrich's tax incentives and reduced regulations for businesses in poor areas (assuming Cheers was in the south side of Boston). Since the plug was pulled on Cheers in 1993, the characters would have no knowledge of Newt's ethics violations and still think he was a pretty good guy.
The Camden Family from Seventh Heaven Would Vote for Rick Santorum
Why? The whole religious thing would be the driving force in why this heavenly fam would put their vote in for Santorum. Seventh Heaven was a morally, righteous show that believed in family togetherness and hand holding, similar to Santorum's platform. The Camden's also had like 80 kids, which makes one think that they were very pro-life and maybe anti-birth control?
The Cast of Dallas Would Vote for Rick Perry
Why? Duh, y'all.
The Zombies of The Walking Dead would vote for Michelle Bachmann
Why? You have to have a total lack of any brain to be a devout follower of Bachmann and Zombies are about as dumb as it gets.
The Cast of Gossip Girl Would Vote For Mitt Romney
Why? As of late the media has been portraying Romney as an out-of-touch, millionaire, who has no comprehension of what "real" Americans go through. This sounds exactly like the cast of Gossip Girl. We definitely see Chuck Bass throwing his weight behind Romney, which naturally would end with a fabulous, masked ball in which everyone's secret desires are revealed. This sounds like our kind of Super PAC!
Alex P. Keaton Would Vote For Herman Cain
Why? Firstly, Alex Keaton was a dedicated member of the Republican Party and often known to quote Nixon. We think he would be impressed with Cain's history in the business services and his CEO status. We can definitely see an episode in which Alex tries to explain Cain's 9-9-9 policy to his hippy parents who can only respond with a horrible joke like, "I'd like to 9-9-9 him!" Sound the canned laughter.
The Duke Boys Would Vote For Ron Paul
Why? The Duke brothers, Bo and Luke from The Dukes of Hazzard, are a wily bunch, similar to how we see Ron Paul. Since the Duke brothers were sentenced for illegal transportation of moonshine, their right to bear arms was taken from them. No way would that fly under Paul who is a noted advocate of the Second Amendment. We assume Boss Hogg would also vote for Paul and then the Dukes and their arch-nemesis would finally have something to agree on other than the fact that Daisy is hot.
Larry, His Brother Darryl and His Other Brother Darryl Would Vote For Sarah Palin
Why? Not only are these some down-home types of dudes, but they are also very lonely! They just want a semi-pretty face to look at. Additionally, Darryl and Darryl don't do very much talking, giving Palin the perfect forum to spout outlandish ideas with none of that "liberal media" type of questioning in response. We think they are into pigs too and what was that Palin comment about a "pig in lipstick?"
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