The day that we all never thought in a million years would happen is upon us. Liz Lemon, Tina Fey's slobby, self-deprecating alter ego on the show 30 Rock, is getting married tonight. We are totally "Lizzing" all over our pants.
If you've followed the show over the years, this marriage comes somewhat as a surprise. Liz Lemon has never been very lucky in love, and that fact has been central to the show's plot. A few of her boyfriends seemed all right, but none of them ever turned out to be. Floyd (Jason Sedeikis) and Liz were a great couple, until he drank to the point of blackout and moved to Cleveland. For a while she dated Carol the pilot (Matt Damon) and that was almost a healthy relationship besides the fact that they never had sex and he was always flying in and out of her life. Who could forget her best/worst love interest Dennis Duffy (Dean Winters), Liz's verbally abusive loafer beau; his pet name for her was "dummy." And then there was John Hamm the good-looking doctor who couldn't even give the Heimlich maneuver because he was so hot.
Liz has been with her future husband Criss (James Marsden) for the past two seasons and it still feels like he just showed up. While the marriage may be shark-jumping territory, this show is on its way out and it might as well jump all the sharks in its path.
Television marriages are almost as good as real weddings, or they might even be better because you don't have to see old white people dance to the Macarena.
Get out your taffeta dresses and over-cook some bland chicken, it's our favorite TV weddings.
5. Jim and Pam, The Office
Of all television couples, these two make the cutest list. Fans of the show had been watching their "will they, won't they" relationship progress for years. Sadly, now that they are married with kids, they are just like every other couple out there who are married with kids that talk about their kids and their boring marriage. Their wedding was a good time. So good that they ran away before their entire office of coworkers did one of those stupid wedding flash-mobs - because that happens at weddings for some reason these days. I would have called the cops; wedding flash mobs should be illegal.
4. Rhoda and Joe, Rhoda
Oh Rhoda and the mess your life was constantly in. Even to the very last minute right before her wedding, Rhoda couldn't get it together. She ran through the Bronx in her wedding dress to barely make it to the church on time. Where was her organized, every-woman friend Mary when she needed her?
3. Ross and Emily, Friends
Here's a good thing not to do when you are at the alter, call your new wife the name of your old, ridiculously hot ex-girlfriend. Perhaps theReal Simple Guide to Weddings
should add this into their uber-handy checklist.
2. Mike and Carol, The Brady Bunch
You may have forgotten that Mike and Carol Brady weren't always married to each other. The start of the iconic show was the couple's disastrous wedding. It should have been a sign of things to come. There were just too many damn kids running all over the place annoying the crap out everyone. I would have called the whole thing off right then and there.
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1. David and Donna, Beverly Hills 90210
The wedding of the '90s (despite happening in 2000) saw high school sweethearts David and Donna finally get hitched on the series finale of the show. Their relationship never made much sense, except they both like Babyface a lot.
For the first three years of their relationship she wouldn't go all the way, then she dumps him for cheating and starts dating an abusive rocker. Then they get back together after she is almost raped. On their college graduation night she gives him her virginity, only to torture him with months of Catholic guilt. They break up and she immediately starts sleeping with an emotionally distant drunk, whom she then cheats on twice. What gives Donna? It doesn't matter in the end; the couple that first did the Roger Rabbit together at the Christmas dance in the high school gym, finally had their day. Yes, I watched this show a lot.