While watching the morning news, Art Attack stumbled upon yet another wonderful local commercial, this time from Platinum Pools. It's hard to describe what made it so bizarrely amazing, we'll try and paint the picture:
Two bikini-clad beauties relax on a raft in their newly built Platinum Pool. A man comes over to them with a plate that contains one slice of pizza and hands it to bikini girl one. She takes the pizza and hands the empty plate to her friend, who looks at the empty plate like, "What? Where's my slice?"
Why did this guy think his bikini-babe would want a slice in the pool, especially when he didn't bring enough for the rest of class? Furthermore, who eats pizza in a pool?!
Local commercials, surely a monetary necessity for our neighborhood affiliate networks, can range from horribly ineffective to something that can only be described as pure genius. In recent years, local TV ads have embraced their low-def, meager budgets and moved to a more tongue-and-cheek route. However, there will always be the commercials that honestly take themselves seriously, forcing you to mock them.
Whether you find yourself singing the "Way to go Gillman..." Gillman Honda theme song or laughing at the DeMontrond duo dressed up for the rodeo, there's no denying that local ads are something to behold.
Here are a few of Art Attacks all time favorite local commercials.
Crazy Alan's Swamp Shack Obviously these guys have a sense of humor, it's just a really weird one.
ABC Pest Pool and Lawn This is a classic from ABC, Pest Pool and Lawn. It's awesome that their jingle has more or less stayed the same since 1971.
Gallery Furniture Ahh, Mattress Mack! Thank you for giving us so many wonderful Gallery Furniture commercials to choose from. We picked this one for two reasons: one, Chuck Norris is in it, and two, when Mack asks Chuck something about the recliner, Chuck just laughs because he has no idea what Mack just said.
The Brown Hand Center What does carpal tunnel have to do with "Daddy's baby girl?" We don't get it and now we are annoyed, and we still have carpal tunnel syndrome.
TexasLending.com You have to agree, the Texas Lending guy needs an Oscar for his performance in this spot. It's one of the best commercials we've ever seen.
Houston Gold "Private rooms?" "Professional settings?" And you walk out with cash in hand? Is this really a gold exchange company or a front for something more risqué than your mom's old brooch?
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to the mission of the Houston Press. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Houston’s stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
Space Center Houston When we think about the Space Center, we too think about pirates and SpongeBob and high diving and McDonalds. Watch out! There's a pirate ship flying through the sky (No, seriously, there is).
We're sure you have your own gems to add to this list, we would love to hear them.