Mother's Day - the day we all honor the women who carried us for nine months and then shoved us out into the world. This year, try not to be lame.
Unless you're five years old, a handmade card or clay ashtray isn't going to get it. Gift cards, flowers, candy have all been done. Please, do something different.
Here's our do's and don't's guide to gift giving for Mother's Day (and a slideshow of suggested gifts that we found in the Museum District for those of you who are visual learners).
Do's Do think about your mom as an adult individual, and not just as your maternal unit. Whatever you give her should be a gift especially for her and not what you want to borrow from her in a couple of months.
Do be gentle. Don't scream, "Hey, toss out the mom jeans, you look old." Instead, offer her a shopping spree to her favorite store (Here's a hint: giving her a gift card is not the same thing as taking her shopping. Spend some time with your mom, why don't you?).
Do use a site like Blogger or WordPress and build a webpage for her. It can be a place for her to stay in touch with friends and family, brag about the grandkids and post photos (just don't blame us if she slaps a couple of baby pictures of you up there).
Do go the extra mile. Your mom is one-of-a-kind, why not give her a one-of-a-kind gift? Besides boutiques and specialty stores, try the gift shops at some of the local museums. Check out our slideshow of presents you can find at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, the Houston Museum of Natural Science and other stops in the Museum District.
Don'ts Don't give her something useful - a vacuum cleaner or a blender is a not-so-subtle sign that you think her main function in life is cleaning up after you (Get her the vacuum cleaner or blender for her on an ordinary day, if that's what she really wants, but splurge on Mother's Day with something she might not buy for herself).
Don't give her another knickknack. Damn things are overpriced and all they do is collect dust.
Don't send her a e-card. The least you can do is spring for a Hallmark card and stuff it in an envelope (Oh, and make sure your card is attached to a gift. Don't think you're going to get away with giving her just a card - unless there are a couple of Benjamins in it).
Don't give her a gag gift. Adult diapers aren't funny. Period. Shake Weight is not only not funny, it's dangerous. You don't want to spend Mother's Day in the ER.
Carla Bradley contributed to this post.