Film and TV

Movie Sequels We Would Actually Pay To See

According to Ben Stiller, Zoolander 2 is now in the works, and The Hangover III is in its earliest planning stages, as the second film in the series is still confounding critics and filling seats in multiplexes all over the country. No one actually asked for a Hangover II, and another Zoolander would have been fun in say, 2003, but now it's just a worn idea. Don't get me wrong, I miss Mugatu. Hell, just make a Mugatu flick.

The funny thing is, if you would have asked me in 2009 as I walked out of the theater after seeing The Hangover if I would have been game for a sequel, I would have said "Hell yes," but after watching it on DVD a few times over the next year, I realized that I couldn't stand another two hours of Bradley Cooper telling the other characters to "calm down" or "keep it together."

Then there are movies that we would pay to see sequels to, in spite of knowing in our heart of hearts that they would suck, a lot. I mainly want another Wayne's World because I really miss funny Mike Myers, and don't want one more Austin Powers film in my lifetime.

Spinal Tap 2

We see the guys on the classic-rock festival circuit alongside Blue Oyster Cult and REO Speedwagon, and not very happy about it. Lars Ulrich is the first guest drummer of the film to blow up in a freak texting accident, and Foo Fighter Dave Grohl is decapitated by a faulty stage light. When Kanye West samples "Big Bottom" the trio gets over-excited about newly-found notoriety and goes on a Botox and plastic surgery binge, and it's up to West himself to steer the band back into action. Bill & Ted's Most More Excellent Adventure

The Wyld Stallyns are losing money to online music pirates who are using the band's pirated music to plant viruses in unsuspecting fans' computers. A killer virus is due to take down society on the eve of the band's induction into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame unless the duo can stop it. With Rufus passed on to another dimension, the boys, now men, seek the help of his cranky assistant, played by Louis CK, who accidentally takes the boys back to the '60s to somehow stop Jim Morrison (Jack Black) from dying in Paris, and convince a young Steve Jobs (Justin Long) to change a crucial line in his initial Apple coding.

Ferris Bueller 2

Ferris, now a 43-year old tech inventor in Chicago, struggles to keep his own kid in school, not unlike his own experience in 1986. The elder Bueller has to traverse indie shows, malls, and even social media to find his daughter. Features a now-retired Principal Ed Rooney in a cameo in a coffee shop surfing for shirtless pictures of Justin Bieber.

Wayne's World 3

Wayne and Garth have now been relegated to YouTube and pod-casting, and find themselves alienated by the current crop of rootsy and Americana acts on the scene like Mumford & Sons and Fleet Foxes, not to mention the fact that Ke$ha wrote a song about how old they are. The ghost of Freddie Mercury, played by Russell Brand, coaxes the boys to have another WayneStock, but they run into problems along the way, including a hacked Twitter account and bands canceling. Office Space 2

What happens after Bill settles into his construction job with Lawrence? He gets really sick of hanging drywall and finds his way back into the office life, only to be fired in a recession crunch, but in the process creates a business for other out-of-work guys like himself to make extra cash.

The Big Lebowski 2

More lounging, more drugging, this time on the weekends with Jeffrey Lebowski Jr., the offspring of the bigger Lebowski and Maude Lebowski. Played by Bad Santa's Brett Kelley, the younger Lebowski has more in common with Walter than Jeff, including a weapons heist at a foreign-owned firing range and the return of Jackie Treehorn, who is now one the biggest Internet porn kingpins in the Valley.

Shawshank Redemption 2

Andy and Red reunite in Zihuatanejo only to get caught back into trouble when Red decides to start smuggling cocaine into the States. Old habits die hard as the two become some of the biggest coke dealers by the early '70s.

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Craig Hlavaty
Contact: Craig Hlavaty