Pop Culture

Name Your Child After the Texas Renaissance Festival and Get Lifetime Passes and $1K

Today the Texas Renaissance Festival has announced a special promotion targeting the youth with child or expecting. If you name your child Texas Renaissance, you will be the recipient of lifetime passes to the Renaissance fair in Plantersville, just north of Houston. There is also a $1,000 savings bond for you too if you become the "Heir To The Throne."

The big question for me is what your child will go by for the rest of their lives, because "Texas Renaissance" doesn't roll off thine tongue, and could get unwieldy when kindergarten starts. I can't even imagine high school being a fun time, either. Though if your first name is Texas, that assures everyone that you will either be a stripper, a bounty hunter or a career criminal. Or all three.

I love the TRF, but I don't think I could do this to a kid. True, he or she could always go by another name once he or she starts school. Like Renny, or TR, or Trent. Who knows?

The rules of the contest are as follows, per the TRF site:

1. Applicants must submit an introduction that explains the following: Why do you want to name your child after the Texas Renaissance Festival? What does the Texas Renaissance Festival mean to you and your family? How will you incorporate "Texas" and "Renaissance" into your child's name?

2. Submit a photo of the expecting family.

3. The words "Texas Renaissance" MUST be part of the child's name. They can be used as a first name, or combination of both first and middle names; however they must be used in that order.

4. The Texas Renaissance Festival will review all interested parties and select a winner.

5. Before being declared the official winner, the birth certificate with the child's legal name must be presented to the Texas Renaissance Festival.

Check out number 4, which means that after all is said and done and your little Texas Renaissance is toddling around the park in Plantersville with a turkey leg in hand, you may not even win. The King must make the choice.

"Only one person will be crowned the winner after submitting an introduction to The King. There might be a lot of people that name their kid that, but out of the handful that submit to enter the contest, only one will be asked to show the birth certificate," says Cory Block, Director of Promotions and Sponsorships with the annual festival.

I don't know, guys, this contest seems for only the most adventurous and brave, and rich. Because if you have the guts to do this to your baby child, then you will be into paying oodles of cash on personality tests and special classes.

Of course, you could always be a right stinker and take the bond, the lifetime passes and change the kid's name back to something respectable like Kanye or Beyoncé once you get the loot in hand, but you would then have to forfeit everything you'd won.

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Craig Hlavaty
Contact: Craig Hlavaty