Old-School Games We Wish Were On the Wii U

Last week, at the E3 Expo, Nintendo unveiled their latest version of video-gaming extravagance! The Wii U, which doesn't have an official drop date, is already killing Nintendo's stock and warranting negative comments all over the interwebs. How so, given the uber-success of the original Wii?

If the advent of television forced a generation into being passive media users, the video game world turned that course around. At the arcade, the best part about zapping an alien was that your friends were there to watch. Once home systems hit the scene, playing video games was no less than a two-person event. Zoom ahead to now: RPGs, online gaming and party games, like Guitar Hero and Mario Party, aren't any fun on your own. When the original Wii came out, it prided itself on bringing folks together, especially old folks who couldn't bowl for real anymore.

The issue with the Wii U is that it's attempting to turn that all on its head. We just learned that the Wii U can only support one of its newfangled controllers at a time. In fact, the marketing angle behind the Wii U is that it's only for you. Well, that's antisocial of you, Nintendo.

With Art Attack, though, the pint glass is always half full and we thought, "Maybe some video games are meant to be played alone." So, here is a list of our favorite Nintendo games as kids and why the standoffish Wii U should consider re-upping them.

ExciteBike Everyone knew that the real fun of ExciteBike was to create the various levels so you could beat them yourself. This is perfect for a solitary man in need of a good confidence boost. Create a really easy level that only you will play and then clobber it. Hell yeah, you're a real man!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

While this game was incredibly hard back in the day and the assistance of a comrade might help you beat it, you probably don't want anyone knowing that you are playing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle game in 2011.


Tetris is THE ultimate single person's game. If you recall playing Tetris as a kid, you never wanted to give up control to your bratty little sister. Even now, just because it's the only game your girlfriend will play with you, doesn't mean you want her to. The logic behind Tetris actually lends itself to an existence of isolationism. If only you could find the right shaped block to fit into your sad and lonely life, err... block tower.

Skate or Die!

Relive your skate punk days as Rodney Recloose, the dad you wish you had or the dad you wish you currently were, before skating became lame and Tony Hawkish. Skate or Die! is one of those games that is certainly more fun with a group of friends, but do you really want anyone around when you break out that pit-stained "Milo Goes to College" T-shirt that your wife forbids you from wearing and attempt to do the windmill to the game's soundtrack without spraining any joints?

Marble Madness

Marble Madness for the Wii U could potentially be phenomenal. We are picturing it similar to a handheld pinball game, but moving the controller moves your entire television screen. In the original game, you could play in a team, red ball and blue working in tandem. Since this wouldn't be possible with the current design of the Wii U, Marble Madness would really need to be an online multi-player. This is just the reason you were looking for to Facebook your old next-door neighbor. Go buy a box of Dunkaroos and together you can combat the isometric world just like old times, but in completely different states.
Kid Icarus

Kid Icarus required no second player and still wouldn't today. Similar to The Legend of Zelda, Pit, the game's hero, travels through a mythical land to save a hot princess. With the Wii U, maybe they can create a way for you to buy secret power-ups from the Black Marketer on the console with no one seeing on your flat screen! Then again, no one is watching, so it's not really a good secret.


Q*Bert, like many of its arcade predecessors, was much better on a solitary level. How many hours one could waste away attempting to change squares to different colors. In retrospect, you might be a more social person now had you not played Q*Bert so much as a child. But why stop now? If the Wii U put out a new version, they might be able to make the evil snakes look somewhat real and the colored cubes turn 3-D.

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Abby Koenig
Contact: Abby Koenig