People You Don't Need To Follow On Twitter (Because Everyone Retweets Them Anyway)

I have been in the Twitter biz since March 2008 (hangs head in shame), and for nearly five years I have seen trends come and go. Follow Fridays, Overheards, John Mayer, Charlie Sheen, the rise of porn stars tweeting their bare asses before bedtime, you know, fun stuff. Every update of the site made us Twitter hamsters readjust our brains to check our cheese.

These days, with millions upon millions of users and attention spans the length of a grain of rice....does Uncle Ben's rice have an account?...we are inundated with information, but maybe that's how we like it. Constant wormholes of info, videos, and pictures keep us from working....wait, Limp Bizkit just broke up?

There are plenty of Twitter celebs you don't need to follow since everyone else does. Like how my friends don't need to follow Dogs Doing Things because I will retweet them anyway. (But sometimes I need to sleep, and you should follow them anyway. Without them, life is just an endless chasm of banal reality and your existence is a dying fly on the windshield of an 18-wheeler.)

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Craig Hlavaty
Contact: Craig Hlavaty