Person Of Interest: "I Really Hope Derek's The Threat."

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Remember all those old movies and TV shows set in hotels, like Hotel (the movie) and Hotel (the TV series)? Yeah, I don't either.

They're as good a setting for an episode of Person of Interest, I guess; hundreds of guests, numerous staff members with possible hidden agendas, and weird little girls hiding in the rafters.

The episode has a throwback quality to it that wasn't entirely welcome, however. The main plot was fine, but it almost feels like the standalone episodes (especially after "One Percent") are getting too goofy for their own good. Fortunately, as we saw at the end of last night's installment, things are about to turn dicey for our heroes once again.

Our opening eavesdropping snippet comes from Montenegro. Cryptic. Then it's back to the Big Apple and Number of the Week Mira Dobrica (Mia Maestro). She's a hotel maid, so Mr. Finch (Michael Emerson) naturally assumes the threat is work-related. He and Mr. Reese (Jim Caviezel) are hired as concierge and bellhop, respectively, at the Coronet Hotel. Just in time for the big Aviation something something conference.

Oh hey, there's Zoe Morgan (Paige Turco). She's working on something else, and will be dangled tantalizingly before us without doing a hell of a lot this week.

So who could the threat be? Is it the CEO of the energy drink company who wants to act out his dirty Albanian maid fantasies? The mysterious guest lurking in the lobby? The crooked manager, Mr. Fowler, and his head doorman henchman? Reese would like that; Fowler's an asshole.

The taciturn Hersh (Boris McGiver), last seen stewing in the yard at Rikers, is also back and still taking orders from "Pennslvania Two"/the Special Counsel (Jay O. Saunders), who's still keen to track down the Man in the Suit. Hersh steals a cop car right after getting out of stir, which is pretty kinky.

Det. Carter (Taraji P. Henson) still can't catch a break. Occasional flame Det. Beecher (Sterling K. Brown) wants to take the relationship to the next level (which in this case means acknowledging each other's existence to their families), but Special Agent Moss is picking up where Donnelly left off. No, not going after the Man in the Suit, but in making Carter a field agent. Just gotta pass that polygraph. *gulp*

There may be some juice to the Fowler and Bud (the doorman's stooge) theory: i.e., they may be running an escort service. Also, an old journalist friend of Mira's from the former Yugoslavia stops by with what sounds like urgent business, until Reese butts in again. She's annoyed, but also unaware of the team of hitmen waiting for her downstairs. They're there because Mira witnessed an up and coming Serbian politician ordering executions during the war. For someone who lived through the Yugoslav Wars, Mira's awfully squeamish when Reese pops one of the assassins. Even going so far as to flee straight into an elevator occupied by another hitman. Reese follows them down, John McClane-style, and takes him out. Meanwhile Fusco (Kevin Chapman) follows another one, and bumps into a fifth assassin.

Or is it six? Who can tell? There are always more Serbians.

The good news? Mira finally, after a half dozen corpses, finds the intestinal fortitude to come forward about Petrovic (the politician). The bad news? Carter is made aware of Beecher's "multiple" IAD investigations during her polygraph, and their relationship costs her the FBI job. Carter tells Beecher she needs time, to which he responds, "I'm not going anywhere." Happily, she gets to vent her frustration by ventilating the last assassin as he makes his move on Mira in the police station.

Hersh catches up with Reese and asks pointedly about his employer. They duke it out in the hotel kitchen in what is probably a reenactment of a Top Chef behind-the-scenes featurette. Reese leaves him wounded, but alive.

In the end, Petrovic goes down, Fowler and his escort ring are busted, Finch buys the Coronet and installs Mira as hotel manager. Reese and Zoe (criminally underutilized this week, if I may say) decide to spend the night in the penthouse suite. Everything wraps up pretty n... wait, what? Root (Amy Acker) is working for the Special Counsel? Well slap my ass and call me Zoe.

Seriously, call me, Zoe.

Next week: Less than two weeks after trying to protect someone who didn't want protection, now they're assigned to someone who can take care of her damn self.

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