The final installment in the nigh-interminable Twilight movie franchise doesn't come out until November, but that doesn't mean Summit Entertainment is about to sit on its thumbs while rival The Hunger Games rakes in $155 million its first weekend.
The decision to drop the first teaser for Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part 2 this particular weekend was no coincidence. Though if they really wanted to "scoreboard" Katniss and company, the entire video could have consisted of nothing other than the words "$705 million worldwide gross, bitchez!11!!"
But that would be childish.
Because we here at the Press are, above all, mature professionals, our immediate reaction to the 49-second trailer was to hunker down and conduct a sober and incisive analysis.
Using animated .gifs.
0:04 - There's that "All Ages" green screen. Hey, there's a chance this won't completely suck, right?
No, I'm serious. Don't you get the feeling there might be something amazing on the horizon?
0:18 - "After 18 years of being ordinary, I finally found that I could shine." You go, girl!
And hat tip to myself for slyly referencing Kristen Stewart's next movie.
0:23 - "I didn't expect you to seem so...human." Oh, that Jacob. He'll be offering her a backrub next.
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0:32 - "We're the same temperature now." Jeez, two-thirds of the way through and we haven't even seen the main character's face yet. You know what this teaser needs? Some midget karate.
0:34 - OH SHIT Y'ALL, HER EYES ARE TOTALLY VAMPIRE RED, WTF?
0:43 - Man, that deer is toast. What do you think of that, Ted Nugent?
And that does it. Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part 2 opens November 16. One thing we can say for sure about this franchise...this will be the last movie. And I think we can all share this gentleman's reaction to that news: