Pop Rocks

Pop Rocks: Guys, Don't Watch Guys With Kids

Autumn is almost here, and with it comes yet another batch of new TV shows. The fall TV season is both more and less significant than it was in the past. More, because the number of networks debuting new series vastly eclipses the Big Three from days of yore. Less, because mid-season, late-season, and spring premieres have rendered the "event," such as it was, largely irrelevant.

The big (read: free) networks haven't helped their situation, continuing to flood the airwaves with new doctor shows (The Mob Doctor), cop shows (Beauty and the Beast, sort of), tiresome retreads like Chicago Fire), and another inexplicable Reba McEntire vehicle (Malibu Country). She really is our Sarah Bernhardt.

And don't forget the sitcoms. Every year the big (read: dumb) networks have to throw at least a half dozen comedies at us in the hopes some laugh-tracked atrocity sticks. I have little hope for most of the ones I've heard of to this point, and that goes double for Guys With Kids, a new NBC show that promises to blow the lid off that most fascinating of comedic premises: stupid men attempting to take care of children. Stupidly.

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Here's the preview, which I will attempt to "break down" for you as hip, urban slang suggests I should:

There are rules for policemen about taking children to bars. The first is: only bring them to establishments where dogs are welcome, because any mess they create will pale in comparison to piles of feces left on the floor.

And the second is: get the kids out of there before sundown. Seriously, nobody else in that establishment thinks this shit is cute. We get it; he's too dumb to remember to bring milk for his infant child. Will he be stymied by a poopy diaper as well? Oh, you men.

While this move is more commonplace than we let on, huffing your own child's ass is not as endearing to the opposite sex as you might think.

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Peter Vonder Haar writes movie reviews for the Houston Press and the occasional book. The first three novels in the "Clarke & Clarke Mysteries" - Lucky Town, Point Blank, and Empty Sky - are out now.
Contact: Pete Vonder Haar