Pop Rocks

Pop Rocks: How Does Jack and Jill Stack Up Against the Worst Movies of the 21st Century?

It's fitting that on the eve of the boffo 3D re-release of Titanic, a film tied with two others for most Oscar wins by a single movie, Adam Sandler's latest parvum opus -- Jack and Jill -- swept all ten categories at last Sunday's Razzies.

Sandler himself "won" for both Worst Actor and Worst Actress, Al Pacino (playing himself) took home Worst Supporting Actor, and Dennis Dugan, who directed both J&J and Sandler's other alleged comedy of 2011, Just Go with It, landed Worst Director.

You could make a fairly serious argument that Sandler hasn't starred in a legitimately funny movie since 1998's The Wedding Singer. And if I wanted to approach this particular list as lazily as Sandler makes feature films, I'd just start it with 2002's Mr. Deeds and end with either of his stinkbombs from last year. But I won't, because in an honest and meticulously researched list of the worst movies of the last 12 years, Sandler only earns one legitmate spot.

Okay, maybe two.

In no particular order...

Sex and the City 2 (2010) I know a good way to burn through what little goodwill remains attached to your franchise following 94 increasingly unctuous episodes and a movie that might as well have been subtitled "Rich White People Problems": add racism and the presumption that anyone outside of their curious fanbase gives a shit about the antics of these ghastly creatures.

The Pink Panther (2006) I read an interview with John Fogarty in Rolling Stone back in the '80s where he said he started playing CCR songs in concert because a friend warned him if he didn't, people were going to remember "Proud Mary" as a Tina Turner song. I wonder how many moviegoers under the age of 40, who've grown up with Steve Martin as the guy who stars in shitty remakes like Cheaper by the Dozen and The Pink Panther, have even heard of The Jerk or The Man with Two Brains.

Meet the Spartans/Epic Movie/Disaster Movie/Date Movie Alleged filmmakers Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are just like Airplane!'s David Zucker, Jim Abrahams and Jerry Zucker, if the latter trio were given electroshock treatments and smothered by Chief Bromden.

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Peter Vonder Haar writes movie reviews for the Houston Press and the occasional book. The first three novels in the "Clarke & Clarke Mysteries" - Lucky Town, Point Blank, and Empty Sky - are out now.
Contact: Pete Vonder Haar