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Keep Houston Press Free
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Pop Rocks: Supporting Characters We'd Want On Our Side In A Fight

Remember that scene in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy where the crews from the various local news stations fought each other in a leisure suit battle royale? Good times.

And it got me thinking. Meteorologist Brick Tamland (Steve Carell) came in pretty handy during that scrap ("Brick killed a guy!"), leading me to wonder what other secondary/supporting cast members would be good in a scrap.

No really, it did. Why would I make something like that up?

Walter Sobchak - The Big Lebowski He may be prone to ranting about 'Nam, or violently enforcing the rule about stepping over the foul line. And you wouldn't want him masterminding your hostage exchange, but should you happen to come across a gang of nilhists setting fire to your car, there are few better equipped to handle it.

Willow Rosenberg - Buffy the Vampire Slayer What? I didn't say I wanted a fair fight. The most powerful witch in the Western Hemisphere, if not the world, would be a formidable ally when dealing with everything from run of the mill vamps to the First Evil itself.

Jake the Muss - Once Were Warriors I wouldn't let him near anybody in my life I cared about, but I daresay there's no one up here or Down Under I'd rather have in a bar brawl.

Wang Chi - Big Trouble In Little China The joke, of course, being that Wang (Dennis Dun) is really the hero and Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) the sidekick. I'm still using him.

Clyde - Every Which Way But Loose Clyde narrowly edged out Bear from B.J. and the Bear, because you're simply not rolling hard if you're not rolling with a great ape.

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