National HIV Testing Day Today and tomorrow, Planned Parenthood offers free AIDS tests and counseling. 8:30 a.m.-6 p.m. At various locations: Fannin Clinic, 3601 Fannin, 529-8844; Southwest Clinic, 6121 Hillcroft, Suite O, 272-0544; Greenspoint Clinic, 11834 Airline, (281) 445-4553; Stafford Clinic, 3727 Greenbriar, Suite 118, Stafford, (281) 494-9848; and Dickinson Clinic, 3315 Gulf Freeway, Dickinson, (281) 337-4193. Call for an appointment.
Twi-Lite Fun Run The words "fun" and "run" hardly seem compatible in this long, mean season, when merely walking from your front door to your car leaves you sticky, spent and ready for Gatorade. Even so, this evening an estimated 2,500 no-pain-no-gain types will run 5K, no doubt rejoicing with every bead of sweat. At least the day's worst heat will have passed by the time Rockets coach Rudy T. signals the shotgun start. (The race, sponsored by 104 KRBE, benefits his Tomjanovich Foundation.) Register 47 p.m. at the Memorial Park Tennis Center, 1500 Memorial Loop; race begins at 7:30. $15 race fee includes food and beverages at a post-run party and the obligatory fun-run T-shirt.
Dietrich Anjelmurra Wegner The young artist contends that his paintings "are in no way pornographic; on the contrary, as simple and innocent as the nude can be." But the High School for the Performing and Visual Arts disagreed -- perhaps because some of Wegner's simple, innocent young men are not only naked but blindfolded or hooded -- and the graduating senior wasn't allowed to display those paintings on the campus. Instead, he's organized his own exhibit, combining his works with those of three other recent grads: abstract painter Jessica Espinoza and photographers Seth Irwin and Sara McCuistion. Opening reception 6:30-8 p.m., Commerce Street Art Warehouse, 2315 Commerce Street. Call 747-7543 for information.
Guy Clark Long, long ago, during a brief and shining moment when commercial radio played country music that hadn't been lobotomized, Guy Clark made a hit of "L.A. Freeway," a sweetly bitter get-out-of-town song that managed to be both smart and unpretentious, and Jerry Jeff Walker had the good taste to cover it. But the zeitgeist rolled on, and Clark didn't. He stayed in Austin. He didn't slick up, and he didn't dumb down. All these years later, his songs still appeal to people who've been to college, traveled and led emotional lives not fully described by Hallmark cards. Tonight he's touring in support of his new album, Keepers, a collection of old standbys, including "L.A. Freeway," "Desperadoes Waiting for a Train" and "The Last Gunfighter Ballad." Singer/songwriter Darrell Scott opens. 7 and 9:30 p.m. At Rockefeller's, 3620 Washington Ave., 869-8427. $10, $15, $20.
Lustmord In the late '80s, artist Jenny Holzer was everywhere. You remember: She's the one whose aphorisms -- such as "Abuse of power should come as no surprise" -- were chiseled into marble, and glowed in electric signs; she was the star of the Venice Biennale. Now, after a five-year dormant period, she's back with a new show. Lustmord takes its name from a German word for sex murder, and Holzer's sobering installation includes human bones and her trademark LED signs. They blink unsettling texts attributable to a killer, his victim and an observer. A sample: "She fell on the floor in my room. She tried to be clean when she died, but she was not. I see her trail." Opens today; museum hours 10 a.m.-5 p.m. On display through August 17. Contemporary Arts Museum, 5216 Montrose, 284-8250; www.camh.org. Free.
The Hollisters This local band named itself after a moonshiner on the Andy Griffith Show -- thus marking itself as both shamelessly country and hip to pop-cult references. They're louder, faster and harder-rocking than you'd expect, and their deadpan hick shtick is aimed high over the heads of Jeff Foxworthy fans. Even so, they're capable of executing a two-step tune even a purist can love. 10 p.m. The Fabulous Satellite Lounge, 3616 Washington Ave., 869-COOL; www.fabsat.com. $6.
Super Summer Science Dr. I. Wonder juggles a bowling ball, a hammer and a flaming torch, all to define "center of gravity." He spins a bicycle tire to show how a gyroscope works. He spits Ping-Pong balls across great distances, the better to explain ... well, there must be some scientific concept at work, and maybe your kids will remember it long after they've stopped trying the trick at home. Other highlights of the Exxon-sponsored "WonderWeekend" include opportunities to make balloon rockets, craters and (the museum swears it's educational) slime. Activities 10 a.m.-4 p.m. today, and 1-4 p.m. Sunday. Dr. I. Wonder performs at 9:30 a.m., 11 a.m., 12:30 p.m. and 2 p.m. today, and at 12:30 and 2 p.m. Sunday. At the Children's Museum, 1500 Binz, 522-1138. $5; free for children under 2.
Breakfast with the Stars and Stripes E.Q., the only male zebra at the Houston Zoo, was conceived in vitro. The genetic son of two full-blooded Plains Zebras, he was born to a surrogate mother: a quarter horse mare. Ten years later, he's seeking still more parental figures -- people who'll "adopt" him by donating $35 to the zoo. Other thematically appropriate animals are also available: starfish for $20 and tigers for $40. This morning, adoptive families are invited to a celebratory breakfast with (or at least near) their beasts. 10-11:30 a.m. at the Houston Zoological Gardens, 1513 N. McGregor (in Hermann Park). To adopt, call Megan Conley at 529-2632, ext. 100.
Hitler's coffeepot Yeah, this auction's got Confederate belt buckles, Ming Dynasty jade and booty salvaged from sunken galleons. But this afternoon, in addition to those expensive collectibles, Treasures Auction, Inc., will offer what are delicately termed "negative-charisma pieces." From Burkina Faso comes a devil figure made of petrified camel bone; from Mexico, an Olmec human jawbone carved with glyphs; from Tibet, a leg-bone pipe capped in silver-like metal. Creepiest of all is a 10K white-gold coffeepot and demitasse spoons from the Eagle's Nest in Berchtesgaden. The set bears the initials A.H., and is stamped with the personal Third Reich crest of you-know-who. Auction begins at 2 p.m.; previews possible beforehand. 10161 Harwin, 783-3886. Admission free.
Who Killed Hazel Patton? Everybody wanted to kill Hazel, the mean, mean matriarch who controlled the purse strings of a black South Texas clan. But only one character actually stabbed her -- and at the intermission of this homegrown comedy/mystery play, the Ensemble will allow the audience to guess whodunit. Opens tonight at 8 p.m. (See Thrills, Theater for additional showtimes.) At the Ensemble Theater's temporary home, the Midtown Art Center, 3414 La Branch. For tickets and information, call 520-0055. $12$17.
Unveiled Weave, an all-female Houston-based company, presents an evening of modern dance including two brand-new works: Julie Hicks' "Doll Fights" and Bonnie Busker's "Are You Feeling It?," set to the music of Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughan. 8 p.m. tonight and 3 p.m. Sunday; a pre-curtain talk starts 30 minutes before each show. At the Jewish Community Center, 5601 S. Braeswood, 551-7255. $12; $7, seniors and students.
Pride parade Capping Houston's Gay and Lesbian Pride Week '97 is the nation's first nighttime Pride parade. The slogan is "Glowing with Pride," and in keeping with the theme, floats will gleam with neon and incandescent lights, with spangles and glitter and anything that sparkles or shines. "It'll be lights, lights, lights!" exults Pride spokesman Jack Valinski. "But no flames. We want to obey city regulations. And besides, we have enough flaming queens already." 9-11 p.m., along Westheimer between Ridgewood and Stanford. For information, call 529-6979. Free.
Houston Press Music Awards You can't possibly see all 55 acts -- each of them nominated as the best the city has to offer -- so you'll have to settle on a strategy. Old faves? Up-and-comers? C&W? Underground? Whatever sounds attractive as you're wandering outside the clubs? Decisions, decisions. At 11 locations in or near Shepherd Plaza, 2025 Richmond off Shepherd. For a map and complete schedule, see our Music Awards Supplement in this issue or point your web browser to www.houston-press.com/musicawards. Only $5.
Axel Zwingenberger Can a pianist from Hamburg play the boogie-woogie? Can a German blues champion pass muster in America? Will a jazz audience surrender its chardonnay in favor of room-temperature beer? Find out at 7 p.m. at Ovations, 2536-B Times Blvd., 522-9801. For more information, call the Goethe Institut, 528-2787. $8.
Richard Ford No less than the New York Times' Michiko Kakutani has called the novelist "one of the most eloquent voices of his generation." She was writing about his previous book, Independence Day, a meditation on middle age that won both the Pulitzer and the Pen/Faulkner Award. Tonight Ford will read from his latest work, Women with Men, three novellas about love's complications. 7 p.m. Brazos Books, 2421 Bissonnet, 523-0701. Free to worship at the altar of literature; the hardback is $23.
Barriomural Dos! Every Tuesday this summer, artists Beth Secor, Janice Cumbess and Mario Perez will help Orange Show volunteers -- including lots of kids from the East End -- paint the entire Proclean Chemical Building. Asked the subject of the mural, Secor responds, "It's one of those things that evolves. So far, there's kind of a landscape with monkeys, polar bears and lions." You mean the volunteers get to paint whatever they like? "Yeah," says Secor. "I think Jesus is going to be in it somewhere." Would-be muralists should be at least eight years old (adults welcome) and are advised to wear old clothes, a hat and heavy-duty sunscreen. 9 a.m.-noon. Proclean Chemical Building, 2614 Carrolton. For more information, call the Orange Show, 926-6368. Free.
Barry Manilow This year, Manilow's live tour employs a '90s-style gimmick: interactivity. Selected audience members will use electronic gizmos to choose any song from Manilow's oeuvre -- 29 albums! 26 top-ten hits! -- and presto: Barry-on-demand, a live performance of whatever Manilow tune is selected. Will it be the cheap disco thrill of "Copacabana"? The grandiosity of "I Write the Songs"? Or the syrupy self-pity of his new "Bluer than Blue"? Consider the concert a preview of the mega-wired, 400-channel future: You can choose whatever you want, so long as it's the dreck on the menu. 7:30 p.m. at the Summit, 10 Greenway Plaza. For tickets, call 629-3700. $29-$49.
The Senior Prom Never mind that we drink Starbucks and wear the Gap. Forget the leveling influence of TV. Ignore the complicated ethnic mix you see on the street. Despite the complexities of modern life -- or perhaps because of them -- the rest of the world still needs us to behave as Texans, by god. And in case we've forgotten what that means, ABC-TV is glad to remind us. Tonight's one-hour special contrasts the prom plans of ghetto kids in Cambridge, Massachusetts, with those of white suburbanites from our very own Sugar Land. You and the rest of America can revel in the excess of Erinn Fitzgerald, a beauty pageant contestant whose prom prep includes buying a $1,500 dress and hiring a personal trainer to help her shed ten pounds. Big hair, big money, big dreams: We embody everyone else's most secret fantasies, and it's no wonder they hate us. 8 p.m., Channel 13.
Salsa lesson Every Wednesday, dancemeister Johnny Walden teaches salsa for beginners -- plus, oh, a little merengue or cha-cha, depending on what he's in the mood for. Then, after the hour-long lesson, a live band takes the floor, and neophytes get to test-drive the steps they've just learned. Tonight (and every Wednesday for the rest of July) the band is Creacion. Partners not required; Walden will gladly pair off singles. 8-9 p.m. Elvia's Cantina, 2727 Fondren off Westheimer, 266-9631. Free.