We are well aware that Hollywood seems to have a nagging trend of regurgitating the same story lines over and over again, feeding each prepackaged, prefabricated piece of cinematic goo down our throats in a noble game of throwing spaghetti to the walls in an attempt to try to find the next Casablanca.
Cinematic remakes, a sort of "it seemed like a good idea at the time" trend, are all a part of Hollywood guessing that we'd like to see something again that was perfectly fine -- at times, iconic -- but with a potentially weaker cast, thinner plot and shinier costumes.
We winced when we heard about the Dirty Dancing reboot, and we still have no idea what to make of the upcoming updated Footloose. But the weirdest thing about these remakes is that, when you think about it, they've already sort of been remade. Sure, the characters have different names and the projects themselves have different titles, directors and casts (sometimes), but, when you get down to the basics, was Step Up really that different from Save the Last Dance?
To further illustrate our point, here are five movie reboots that have already been remade. Several times.
5. Girls Just Want to Have Fun (1985). Boy meets girl. Boy dances, girl wants to dance with boy, but boy is from the wrong side of the tracks and Daddy doesn't approve. Scandal ensues. Boy gets girl in the end and one or both of them get an invite to participate in Dancing with the Stars.
Remade as: Dirty Dancing (1987)
Need more proof?: Save the Last Dance (2001), Step Up 2: The Streets (2008).
4. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974, remade 2003) Group of young couples take a road trip through some backwoodsy area of the U.S. Inevitably, their car breaks down and they get sidetracked on a journey of horror, power tools and fighting for their lives. Usually only one of them will escape alive, but which will it be? Our money is on the most famous actress in the lineup. You can tell who she is because she's generally in the front passenger seat of the ill-fated car.
Remade as: House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
Need more proof? Wrong Turn (2003), The Hills Have Eyes (1977), (this was itself remade in 2006). 3. Dawn of the Dead (1978, remade 2004). No, that's not morning breath you smell emanating from your spouse's side of the bed, it's dead, rotting flesh. Better run to your nearest mall, pub or liquor store and get familiar with the handling of an AK-47 like yesterday. Perhaps if you make it through the week, you'll be able to live a long, prosperous life alongside your zombie brethren.
Remade as: Shaun of the Dead (2004). (Even down to the hands behind the door shot in the trailer. We get that it's a satire, but still.)
Need more proof? 28 Days Later(2002), Resident Evil (2002) 2. War of the Worlds, 1953 (remade 2005): We the people do hereby take for granted each other, and our planet. Enter Alien Scourge, hell-bent on exterminating or enslaving the human race. We band together and overcome, but not before a few million people are sacrificed and some of the coolest cities we've got are leveled. If they're stubborn, we might even call in the armed forces to hijack one of the invader's spaceships and fly a covert undercover mission to blow up the mother ship. Or we all die.
Remade as: Skyline(2010)
Need more proof? Independence Day(1996), Battle LA (2011) 1. The Pink Panther (1963; remade 2006): Charmingly goofy police officer who grates on his superiors' nerves gets assigned a really tough case and somehow manages to solve it. He also wins the heart of his much hotter counterpart, much to the chagrin of a suave superior agent, who generally ends up looking like a tool in the end.
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Remade as: Get Smart (2008) (Okay, we get that this was, in fact, a remake of the popular '60s spy series, but throw Reduus a bone here).
Need more proof? Austin Powers (1997), Hot Fuzz(2007).