Title: The Watchers
Describe This Movie In One Predator Quote:
MAC: I see you.
Brief Plot Synopsis: There is unrest in the forest, there is trouble with the creeps.
Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: 2 mermen out of 5
Tagline: “You can’t see them, but they see everything.”
Better Tagline: “Who watchers the … watchermen?”
Not So Brief Plot Synopsis: Mina (Dakota Fanning) is an American adrift and working in a pet store in Galway, Ireland. She agrees to drive a rare bird to the Belfast Zoo one day (which happens to be the 15th anniversary of her mother’s death), only to become lost in a dense (and apparently unmapped) forest. After her car breaks down, Mina finds shelter with Ciara (Georgina Campbell), Madeline (Olwen Fouéré), and Daniel (Oliver Finnegan), who inform Mina they are trapped in a house where they are observed every night by creatures known as “watchers,” who happen to have pretty strict rules for their captives.
“Critical” Analysis: The name “Shyamalan” carries with it certain expectations, for good or ill. Increasingly hackneyed twist endings? Diminishing returns punctuated by occasional moments of brilliance? A tendency to insert oneself into the proceedings? All fair game to anyone who’s watched most of M. Night’s directorial output.
Director Ishana Shyamalan thankfully steers wide of her father’s many idiosyncrasies. The Watchers is more straightforward than twisty, and she keeps the gimmickry to a minimum. Unfortunately, it’s a horror movie that isn’t all that scary, and one that hand waves away many of the so-called mysteries it poses.
Movies hinging on esoteric rules of the game like “Don’t open the door after dark” or “Don’t turn your back on the big-ass double-sided mirror the creepy monsters use to spy on you” have a rich tradition, from Scream to Zombieland. But they’re only as successful as the answers to those questions, and when it becomes apparent that the rules put forth in The Watchers don’t amount to much, that tends to sabotage the whole endeavor.
Fanning isn’t served well by either the script or her own talents. One would expect someone thrust into a situation with the prospect of spending the rest of their lives in what amounts to captivity and no hope of escape to respond with some amount of indignation. Mina, on the other hand, seems practically resigned to her fate and goes along right away.
But then, maybe working in an Irish pet store really does suck that much.
For a while, we entertain the idea that Mina may not be experiencing reality like the rest of us. Shyamalan gives us plenty of opportunities to hope so, until it becomes apparent the only factor altering the status quo is going to be a Deus ex machina or something thrown into the plot pile that we didn’t see coming.
Shyamalan (who wrote the script as well as directing) lobs some interesting concepts which are almost simultaneously discounted by the mechanics of the real world. If your movie about supernatural beasts is going to take place in the an otherwise recognizably real world, try sticking to those principles.
The creatures themselves are similarly puzzling: for all their other “talents” (mimicry, shapeshifting) they’re apparently incapable of opening a door. Meanwhile, our protagonists decide at the end to forego any previously imposed limits in order to maximize plot expediency.
Shyamalan has an eye for dread, but maybe it’s too much to expect of a first-time director to knock our socks off the first time around, just as it’s too much for the likes of Fanning and Finnegan to elevate a by-the-book script. Where The Watchers ultimately bogs down is in Shyamalan’s reliance on telling instead of showing. And come to think of it, that tendency to overexplain also runs in the family.
The Watchers is in theaters today.
This article appears in Jan 1 – Dec 31, 2024.
