Credit: Universal Pictures

Title:ย Wicked

Describe This Movie Using Oneย  Quote:

Brief Plot Synopsis:ย Oooh, ooh, witchy women. See how high they fly…eventually.

Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film:ย 2 electro-shock Dorothy’s out of 5.

Credit: YouTube

Tagline:ย “Everyone deserves the chance to fly.”

Better Tagline:ย “Something wicked this way comes…eventually.”

Not So Brief Plot Synopsis:ย You already know the fate of the so-called Wicked Witch of the West (if not, you clearly weren’t forced to watch those two-night Wizard of Ozย TV “events” when you were a kid). Spoiler alert for an 85-year old movie: she dies. But what if, before that, “wicked” Elphaba (Cynthia Erivo) and so-called Good Witch Galinda (Ariana Grande) were once roommates/friends? And what if they sang? You’d watch that, right? Hold that thought.

YouTube video

“Critical” Analysis: Fair warning to anyone planning to attend Wickedย this weekend/holiday season: this is actually “Part I.” At over two and a half hours of runtime (roughly the length of the entire Broadway musical), that means this sucker is going to eventually clock in at five plus hours.

The good news? Like most musicals, Wickedย is front-loaded with strong numbers (“Popular,” “Defying Gravity”), so there are high points even given the bloat. But for a production already notorious for being snooze-y on the back end, it doesn’t bode well for “Part II.”

John M. Chu (Crazy Rich Asians, In the Heights) directs a script written by Winnie Holzman, adapting her book of the Stephen Schwartz musical, itself an adaptation ofย Gregory Maguire’s novel. Somewhere along the way, needless plot bloat dilutes the impact and emotion of the original, while moments that made the stage musical so memorable fall flat.

The college experience can really hinge on one’s choice of roommate. Credit: Universal Pictures

Chu does know his way around filming stage for screen. As with In the Heights, he captures the flow and dynamism of a musical number. Unfortunately (and, ironically, as was also the case with Heights), Wicked looks … sickly. You don’t have to do a side-by-side with The Wizard of Ozย to see what I’m talking about (though someone already has), but Chu and Heightsย cinematographer Alice Brooks have once again drained the life from what should be a vibrant production.

The not-so-secret plot to rob the Animals of their voices and the behind the scenes intrigue at Shiz U. are only mildly distracting, and if Erivo and Grande won’t make you forget the efforts of Idina Menzel and Kristen Chenoweth, it’s not for lack of trying (or lack of side by side comparison). Their vocal performances don’t disappoint, with Grande definitely having the most fun. Folks unfamiliar with Erivo will definitely come away impressed, even if she occasionally gives the impression she thinks she’s made a mistake.

The question “Who is this for?” comes to mind, and it’s not an invalid one. Fans of the musical tend to be…enthusiastic, and a lot of that comes from the staging โ€” the ascension of Elphaba in the first act, for example โ€” and it’s unfortunately lost in the green screen goop here.

It’s inevitable, in a way, that the end result of what felt like years of press (but was really a mere 11 months) disappoints. Chu and company were shooting for a sprawling epic, earnest in its messaging, but it’s mostly exhausting.

And we’re only halfway there.

Wicked: Part One is in theaters today.

Peter Vonder Haar writes movie reviews for the Houston Press and the occasional book. The first three novels in the "Clarke & Clarke Mysteries" - Lucky Town, Point Blank, and Empty Sky - are out now.