Reviews for the Lazy Gamer: Krinkle Krusher

Game: Krinkle Krusher

Platform: PS4, PS3, PS Vita

Publisher/Developer: Ilusis Interactive Graphics

Genre: Castle Defense

Describe This Game in Three Words: Without Any Bite

Score: 3 out of 10

Synopsis: In a magic land a legendary tree has finally borne fruit and a kingdom celebrates with a fair. Unfortunately the ravenous Krinkles smell the fruit and come hungry to devour everything in sight. Now a wizard and his magic glove Mitty must protect the castle.

Up, Up: The rules of this column require me to find something positive to say about every game I review first before delving into the negatives... something I haven't had such a hard time doing since that awful mobile version of Spy Hunter was released. One thing I can say for Krinkle Krusher is that I am a huge fan of the Krinkles themselves. They're cartoony while also holding onto enough frightening aspects to make you honestly engaged in driving them back. Sort of like a cross between Care Bears and that weird period where the Internet kept photoshopping lamprey mouths onto people's faces. Good work on the Krinkles, guys!

Down, Down: Where to start... the writing is horrible and the voice acting grating and adolescent. The levels are boringly repetitive and not programmed with any sort of sense of progression. Your second power up is a fire ring that immediately fails to do enough damage to adequately help finish the level, and the cart of food you can acquire to use as bait can't be placed so it's useless for holding back Krinkles that have gotten past the very first part of the level. The castle wall itself is placed so that you can't attack Krinkles near the gates, which sucks if you've been wearing them down the whole time and the hit detection made me wonder if I was drunk. It's been a long time since I played a game that was so frustrating and un-fun.

Left, Right, Left, Right: Sometimes console games can do mouse-based control schemes well. Puppeteer comes to mind. However, Krinkle Krusher makes you feel like you're flailing about barely able to master simply pointing and clicking on random creatures. Maybe if the target circle of the powers' effects were a little wider and forgiving it would save it.

B, A: Well, there's some Game of Thrones jokes thrown in there, which is a little weird for a game rated for ten-year-olds. On the other hand the new Scooby Doo does Hellraiser jokes and dedicated an entire episode to an Andy Warhol stand-in so what do I know?

Start?: It's cute, but it's not cute enough to overcome its flaws. I'm going to have to say pass.

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Jef Rouner is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner