Reviews for the Lazy Gamer: Spy Hunter

Game: Spy Hunter

Platform: 3DS

Publisher/Developer: TT Fusion/Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment

Genre: Racer

Describe This Game in Three Words: Worse than Moonraker

Plot Synopsis: The United States government has developed an amazing new car/weapon and you get to test it out. Uh oh, bad guys that also used exclusively car-based weaponry infiltrated the project and are after you and your wonder car.

Up Up: I was very excited about Spy Hunter. The original NES release was one of my favorite games, though as a driving combat outing, I never thought it was anywhere near as fun as Bump 'n' Jump. How well does the attempt to recapture that simple, awesome game hold up?

For starters, I remain in complete awe of the graphical capabilities of the 3DS, as well as its audio. It is downright astounding the way the system churns out PS2-level graphics, and the amount of voice acting you can get on a single cartridge boggles. Everything about Spy Hunter's look is as sleek and fresh as a new James Bond movie.

Down, Down: And that's all the nice things I can say about it. This is a terrible game.

In execution alone, Spy Hunter has serious problems. The game tries to up the drama with little cut scenes, but often puts the triggers right as you need to avoid an obstacle. When you come back, it requires split-second timing to avoid hitting anything.

The levels are full of ramps that go nowhere, roads that you won't realize are dead ends until you crash into them, and an enemy AI that honestly feels like it's cheating. Your weapons all take seconds to deploy while cool but pointless animations load up, and your guns, except for the missiles, do about as much damage as hurling gummi bears at the other cars.

Oh, and the game has checkpoints that don't appear to actually do anything. Die, and be prepared to start all the way back at the beginning of the level.

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner