Russell Brand--actor, writer, philosopher and reformed addict--turns 41 tomorrow. There are so many reasons to love him: his spotlight-stealing performances as...well, himself...in Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Get Him to the Greek, his revealing and hilarious biography My Booky Wook, his persistent case of bedhead.
We also love all the bonehead things he's said, whether on camera, on the red carpet or in his writing. The truth is, there's some deep stuff in there that can only come from years of rehab, therapy and all-around getting your shakra right. But once you imagine Brand squeaking his way through one of his most profound thoughts with that hazy look on his face, it's near impossible not to laugh.
"Of all the consumer products, chewing gum is perhaps the most ridiculous: it literally has no nourishment - you just chew it to give yourself something to do with your stupid idiot Western mouth. Half the world is starving, and the other's going, 'I don't actually need any nutrition, but it would be good to masticate, just to keep my mind off things."
"Even as a junkie I stayed true [to vegetarianism] - 'I shall have heroin, but I shan't have a hamburger.' What a sexy little paradox."
"Have you been out in society recently? 'Cause it's SHIT."
"It's no wonder Bob Geldof knows so much about famine - he's been dining out on I Don't Like Mondays for 30 years."
"The interest in me and acceptance of my novelty has been like when Superman leaves his planet and suddenly things that are just normal for him become these superpowers here on earth. Or like Columbus returning from the colonies with tobacco."
"I like threesomes with two women, not because I'm a cynical sexual predator. Oh no! But because I'm a romantic. I'm looking for "The One". And I'll find her more quickly if I audition two at a time."
"Boggle with sex addicts is up there with go-kart racing with junkies."
It's difficult to believe in yourself because the idea of self is an artificial construction. You are, in fact, part of the glorious oneness of the universe. Everything beautiful in the world is within you.
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