4

Russell Brand: Our Favorite F@*!ing Quotes

^
Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

Russell Brand--actor, writer, philosopher and reformed addict--turns 41 tomorrow. There are so many reasons to love him: his spotlight-stealing performances as...well, himself...in Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Get Him to the Greek, his revealing and hilarious biography My Booky Wook, his persistent case of bedhead.

We also love all the bonehead things he's said, whether on camera, on the red carpet or in his writing. The truth is, there's some deep stuff in there that can only come from years of rehab, therapy and all-around getting your shakra right. But once you imagine Brand squeaking his way through one of his most profound thoughts with that hazy look on his face, it's near impossible not to laugh.

We dug up some of Brand's most famous quotes with the help of IMDB and Goodreads.com.

"Of all the consumer products, chewing gum is perhaps the most ridiculous: it literally has no nourishment - you just chew it to give yourself something to do with your stupid idiot Western mouth. Half the world is starving, and the other's going, 'I don't actually need any nutrition, but it would be good to masticate, just to keep my mind off things."

"Even as a junkie I stayed true [to vegetarianism] - 'I shall have heroin, but I shan't have a hamburger.' What a sexy little paradox."

"Have you been out in society recently? 'Cause it's SHIT."

"It's no wonder Bob Geldof knows so much about famine - he's been dining out on I Don't Like Mondays for 30 years."

"The interest in me and acceptance of my novelty has been like when Superman leaves his planet and suddenly things that are just normal for him become these superpowers here on earth. Or like Columbus returning from the colonies with tobacco."

"I like threesomes with two women, not because I'm a cynical sexual predator. Oh no! But because I'm a romantic. I'm looking for "The One". And I'll find her more quickly if I audition two at a time."

"Boggle with sex addicts is up there with go-kart racing with junkies."

It's difficult to believe in yourself because the idea of self is an artificial construction. You are, in fact, part of the glorious oneness of the universe. Everything beautiful in the world is within you.

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.