Pop Culture

Scarlett Johansson's Boobs Do the Heavy Lifting for The Avengers Promo Push

Our own Pete Vonder Haar checks out the other end of things with Pop Rocks today.

The Avengers has already racked up in excess of $218 million in ticket sales globally and it hasn't even hit American theaters. Early estimates say that it could top $500 million by Sunday night. It opens wide at midnight on Thursday.

Of course it's going to be hard for a movie featuring Thor, Captain America, Iron Man and The Hulk to do awful at the box office, especially in director Joss Whedon's hands. The film could just be an hour and a half of random explosions and the heroes drooling on each other and it would at least recoup its budget.

Another ball in its court? The chest of actress Scarlett Johansson, who plays the ginger-haired Black Widow in the film, has been a focal point for fan boys and fan girls alike since the first stills of her tight, black leather outfit hit the Web months ago.

A leaked scene from the film also showcased her goods while she was fighting off baddies, and a few horny and industrious nerds used their unholy Photoshop skills to create a more buxom Black Widow. Haven't they seen her leaked cellphone pics?? It's not even proportional, you goons, and whose boobs are those? Denise Milani's? For shame.

To be fair, though, her boobs have been selling movies since at least 2004's A Love Song for Bobby Long. And The Island. And Match Point. And The Black Dahlia. And Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Okay, boobs mean box office, even in sedate Woody Allen movies.

They somehow did not help in We Bought a Zoo, because there were too many animals and Matt Damon to distract us. And who can forget the best scene in Lost in Translation? What was the rest of the movie about? Bill Murray was a translator in Japan or something, I think.

One of her next roles is as Janet Leigh in the now filming docudrama about the making of Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. Uncut shower scene? Cross all of your toes and fingers.

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Craig Hlavaty
Contact: Craig Hlavaty