You know those moments in your life when you wish you could go back in time and relive them, except completely differently? Or rather you could go back and those moments just wouldn't ever happen? Have you ever had that feeling after watching a movie? You know what I'm talking about: When you walk out of the theater with a friend and neither of you can say a word? Sometimes this reaction is out of shock, sometimes disgust and sometimes pure confusion. If you could un-see a movie, what would it be? Here are our Top 7.
7. Un Chien AndalouOh, you want to see a woman's eye sliced open? Here.
I like a good art flick as much as the next guy, but Luis Buñuel's ode to surrealism is one that I never want to think about again. If you are unfamiliar with the film, it opens with a woman's eye being sliced with a razor blade. Yes! That's in the first five minutes of the movie. No thanks. Sliced eyeballs are a vision I can never un-see, which almost sounds like an oxymoron... but it's not.
6. Creepshow -- "The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill"
Remember Creepshow? As a complete series, it isn't that scary; it has its moments. As a kid, though, I recall one segment in particular that has haunted me until this day. If I could pay to give this memory back, I would pay about $15. Stephen King plays Jordy Verrill, a downtrodden farmer who spends his time guzzling alcohol. Then one day a meteorite lands on his farm, and Jordy does the worst thing you can do when an alien object burrows itself in your land: He touches it. And that's when it gets gross. Jordy's whole body becomes covered with a green moss-like substance. It spreads slowly, which makes it all the more uncomfortable to watch. Nightmares, I tell you, nightmares for years, I had about grass sprouting out of my body. It's burned in my brain.
5. Cabin Fever
Uggg...flesh-eating bacteria. I mildly enjoyed this movie except when it got to parts where the characters' skin started shriveling up into a bloody, pussy mess. I would like to un-see this.
4. What to Expect When You Are Expecting
It's not that this movie,What to Expect When You Are Expecting
, which is, oddly, based on a self-help book, is so disgusting to watch that you wish you could go back in time and Redbox something different; it's that it is so terrible. It's not the worst movie ever made, by any means, but it might be the most pointless. It's just a horribly bad, no-reason-to-exist movie and because of that, there is no reason to see it. But many of us did see it, and we should demand the time wasted on this film back. I even wish for the actors in this film that they could go back in time and turn the script down. I am as embarrassed for them as I am about the fact that I have seen this movie at least twice.
This story continues on the next page. 3. The Sixth Sense
Now I'm going to throw you for a loop. Do I wish I could go back and un-seeThe Sixth Sense
? Absolutely. But my reasoning for wanting to un-watch this movie has nothing to do with any disdain for it. It's a great movie with one of the best twist endings of all time. But when I saw it, I knew the ending. I didn't know it for sure, but I had heard enough chatter about the ending to know to look for a twist, and I inadvertently ruined the surprise for myself. It was like Christmas 1986 all over again! If I could forget everything about this movie and rewatch it, I would. Plus, the bonus to that would be a renewed faith in M. Night Shyamalan, which is very, very gone.
2. Boys Don't Cry
They screenedBoys Don't Cry
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at my college campus and my roommate and I went not knowing all that much about the film. I know that there are more graphic rape scenes in movies, but I have never been more stunned to watch such a horrific act of violence on film. It got to me in a weird way that I really can't explain. We left the theater and neither of us could muster a word. Then we both went to bed, still in silence. I wish I could throw that memory away forever.
1. Requiem for a Dream
Dear government, Want to end the war on drugs? Do you want to stop kids from turning household products into crystal meth? How about ending the funnel of money that goes into antidrug campaigns targeted at school-age children? Make it mandatory that all teenagers watch Darren Aronofsky's depiction of four drug abusers and the downward spiral they find themselves in, and I guarantee they will be scared straight. Even as I think of this film, I shudder. I would like to never think about it again...especially that arm scene.