Sex Box Is the Show We Never Wanted but Will Probably Hate Watch

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I used to think that everyone who appeared on daytime TV -- Maury, The Test, The Jerry Springer Show, so on and so forth -- was an actor. Real life is absurd, sure, but it can't be that absurd. For a small fee, there have to be plenty of people out there willing to sacrifice their good name for our personal amusement.

But the more I thought about it, the more I started to wonder if I was wrong. What's a little dirty laundry aired in public if it means a free flight, free hotel and the chance to be daytime TV/tumblr famous?

Which is why when I was told that Sex Box was coming, I wasn't completely surprised.

Who wouldn't want to be on a show called Sex Box?

It's a pitch that sounds too silly to be true, but it's real, and it's coming to your TV next year:

The viewers will be introduced to a couple, who will then go in to a box and have sex (hence the very creative name) then emerge from the Sex Box to talk about what happened in the Sex Box.

Yeah, that's it. In -> [Sex] -> Discussion.

I swear I'm not making this up. Here's the British version if you don't believe me:

I'm not sure who the audience for Sex Box is. The best I can come up with is a) people who think that Penthouse letters are just a bit too steamy and b) people being baited into hate-watching it.

In a story about Sex Box on The Daily Beast, Marc Juris, WE tv's president, is quoted as saying, "Our featured couples will get a once-in-a-lifetime experience, while our viewers will get the kind of bold, break-through-the-clutter programming they increasingly associate with WE tv."

Let's ignore all the buzzwords, because frankly, I don't know anyone who associates We tv with anything, let alone break-through-the-clutter programming; there are 33 episodes of L.A. Hair, so maybe the clutter they're talking about is the one they put out on a regular basis.

It's the once-in-a-lifetime-experience part that I find interesting, because who thinks "having sex in a box, then talking about it with strangers" rates high on the "must-do" scale?

This isn't me being a prude, either. I mean, if you want to have sex in front of strangers, then you should, as long as all parties involved are consenting adults. This is the Internet, and if you've got a webcam, there are people out there who will watch. Hell, there are probably people out there who would watch you have sex in a box for a small price; they probably hang out on Clips4Sale.com, if that's your thing.

This just sounds like exhibitionism for people scared to be exhibitionists, with the added ick factor of having to listen to strangers talk about their sex life. Unless Doctor Drew and Adam Carolla are the guys doing the interview, I don't see how this is going to be particularly entertaining. If you're the type that's willing to go on Sex Box, odds are your sex life probably isn't that interesting to begin with.

In summation, I for one can't wait for Reality Bites to sit through this hot mess.

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