Random Ephemera

Steampunk Dildos: How We Came to This (NSFW)

The world of steampunk is under this particular writer's purview because no one else on the Houston Press contributor list accepted Final Fantasy VI as their personal savior in their formative years. We've covered some pretty sweet crafts and art in our time here, but now we've gone straight through the looking glass into Alan Mooresville. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you Lady Clankington's Cabinet of Carnal Curiosities.

The story goes like this...

Due to her voracious desire for endless...adventure, her husband (an industrialist of some note) expired from exhaustion long ago. In a fit of frustration, Lady Clankington employed the genius of one Dr. Visbaun to create a cadre of strapping automatons that would finally grant her the only company able to keep up with her unending desire...for adventure. As brilliant and well-built as these mechanisms were, even these poor fellows kept wearing out.

Ever more frustrated and in need of satisfaction, Lady Clankington commissions Dr. Visbaun to create various enticements of a most diabolical nature. Each design has been well tested by the lady, herself.

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner