ABBY: When Rob and Jerry go to pick up Laura at the hospital the day after she's given birth, she looks like she just stepped out of a salon. Both of you guys have wives who have had children, how accurate is that?
JEF: About as accurate as an automatic shotgun. My wife looked like the prettiest mugging victim in the world after giving birth. Beautiful, of course, but also like someone had stabbed her in the stomach and removed a significant part of her anatomy.
I wish they'd tackled my favorite post-pregnancy bit... watching newly un-pregnant women readjust to their former center of gravity.
PETE: To this day I wonder how many cases of post-partum depression in the late '60s were attributable to women crushed because they didn't instantly drop to a size 2 within 48 hours of giving birth.
ABBY: Were either of you afraid that your children weren't really yours? Even now perhaps?
JEF: True story, one night they brought me a Chinese baby. I held the little guy for a second, looked at the nurse, and she said, "Oh, that's not you." Then she just turned and walked off. So glad my wife was asleep.
PETE: "Afraid?" Honestly, it would validate my current state of denial that all my shitty personality traits are manifesting themselves in my children.
ABBY: Last question about this, did either of you ever wish that you were switched at birth? I prayed for it every night but alas I look just like my father.
JEF: I think that's more of a girl thing. Secretly a princess and all that. Boys just dream about finding something radioactive and hopefully getting superpowers in the bargain.
PETE: Switched? Not precisely. I assumed for years I would inherit a fortune from some distant wealthy relative and eliminate the need for my seeking a job after college. That didn't work out so well.
ABBY: The payoff of this episode is worth every minute leading up to it, even if no one but Rob thinks that maybe his baby is the wrong one. Were you guys shocked or you saw it coming a mile away (P.S. the payoff is that the Peters are black, so obvs their baby does not belong to the Petries)?
JEF: I did not see it coming, and it is the funniest payoff I have ever seen. Seriously, it's 23 minutes for one punchline and everyone just nails it perfectly! I must have laughed for ten minutes.
PETE: While I didn't make the connection when I first saw it (circa 1985), I wouldn't be surprised if modern audiences didn't get it either. And that's mostly because I think present-day TV viewers might gloss right over the possible racial outcomes.
ABBY: 1960s sitcoms moved away from the "father knows best" mentality and portrayed many of the patriarchs as sort of bumbling idiots that their wives need to reel in from time to time to save them from their own self destruction. It's was sort of an interesting time in domestic sitcoms because of this gender-bend. Yes? No?
JEF: I don't know... I get sort of sensitive about that sort of thing honestly. I can't tell you how many times I've been out in public with the kid and had any number of women just assume I was a bumbling idiot when it came to childcare. "Oh, you're doing so well with her!" Like they expect me to clothe her in dishrags and use mud to keep the ticks off. Still, it's heaps better than that paternalistic bullshit that preceded it. I'll give you that.
PETE: Has that sitcom dynamic changed? Modern TV dads are still pretty idiotic (Modern Family, According to Jim). I don't want to take Jef's example to Glenn Beck extremes (Jef Beck?), but I'm constantly amazed at the number of people who view a man who can maneuver multiple children through the Galleria as some kind of fucking Super Dad.