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Keep Houston Press Free
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Teen Steam: Here Is Alyssa Milano's Creepy Teen Workout Video from the '80s

This Wednesday, Alyssa Milano turned 40. Let that sink in.

Milano has been a perennial crush object since Who's The Boss premiered in 1984, and American men grew up with her as she turned into a foxy young lady. During most any conversation about Milano, someone will bring up her direct-to-video classics, Embrace of the Vampire or Poison Ivy II: Lily, but not for their low-budget charms.

Speaking of charms, did anyone ever watch Charmed, Milano's WB witch series? I know no one personally who ever did.

Sometime in 1988, Milano starred in a fitness video geared towards teen girls called Teen Steam, which I found today on YouTube. I'm sure at the time that it seemed innocent and fun, but here in 2012 it's positively creepy. The title alone being in my YouTube history alone makes me feel dirty.

There's a lot of heavy breathing and sports bras, and the Red Shoe Diaries-type soundtrack doesn't help, either. The audio alone is ick-town.

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If this were made here in 2012, someone would have been fired, jailed, put on a special list and marked for life as a creep of the highest order.

Ah, who am I kidding? Miley Cyrus and Britney Spears did much worse.

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