I'm pretty sure no one expected Al Pacino to follow up The Godfather, Serpico and Dog Day Afternoon with a heartwarming tale about a father struggling to make it as a playwright and take care of a bunch of kids no one apparently wants. But, that's what happened. Tuesday Weld is the estranged bitch of a wife and Dyan "Lakers' Biggest Fan" Cannon is the star actress/mistress. There's also the cute kid who curses. Plus, Pacino's real-life stepdaughter, Ari Meyers, who was one of the daughters on Kate and Allie. Don't get me started on '70s and '80s sitcoms.
4. Doctor Detroit
Stay with me...Dan Aykroyd is conned into leading a double life as a crazed, metal hand-weidling, psycho pimp and an absent-minded professor at an ivy league university. On one side, there is the villainess "Mom," who is trying to cut into the territory he was forced into protecting. On the other are the tea-sipping blue-blood donors to the school. He has to impress both in the climactic scene as both party in separate ballrooms at a swanky hotel. Yeah. Also stars Aykroyd's future wife Donna Dixon (as a prostitute, obviously), Fran "The Nanny" Drescher and Howard Hesseman. They even got James Brown to perform. And you've never heard a voice like Aykroyd employs for "the Doctor."
3. The Incredible Shrinking Woman
The brilliant Lily Tomlin stars in this cautionary tale of household chemicals that CAN KILL SHRINK YOU! As you may have guessed, Tomlin's character -- your basic housewife to husband played by Charles Grodin -- starts getting smaller and has to deal with complications of married life when reduced to the size of a Barbie and real threats from dogs, robot toys and the garbage disposal, never mind the nefarious Ned Beatty, who just wants to exploit her dilemma. Interestingly, it was directed by the same guy that did Lost Boys and the crappier of the Batman movies -- Batman and Robin FML.
2. Seems Like Old Times
No doubt trying to capitalize on the success of the Goldie Hawn/Chevy Chase pairing in Foul Play, this Neil Simon screenplay is downright hilarious, with Charles Grodin playing Hawn's current husband and Chase her former. When Chase is forced to rob a bank at the same time Grodin is up for attorney general, well, things get kooky. Throw in "Aurora's famous chicken pepperoni" and a bunch of dogs and, well sir, you've got yourself a comedy.
1. Saturday the 14th
And here we are at the humdinger of all craptastic movies of this era. Long before the Scary Movie spoofs, there was this. Starring Richard Benjamin (I told you!) and Jeffrey Tambor (Arrested Development), this fairly lousy horror movie parody was directed by a guy who, weirdly, directed a combination of real horror films, Rainbow Brite and Care Bears episodes as well as one of the soft-core Emmanuel movies that I, of course, never watched.
