Over the last weekend a new name in the Men's Right's movement emerged in the form of columnist Mark Saunders at Thought Catalog. The self-described Denver yuppie debuted on the site with his article "18 Things Females Seem To Not Understand (Because, Female Privilege)". The thing is, Saunders is completely right. Women don't understand his bullet points for the exact same reason I don't understand the government's plans to sterilize us with chemtrails; they aren't freakin' true.

And Saunders doesn't understand why he's wrong because he's an idiot.

I'm not likely to change the hearts and minds of any MRAs any time soon, but I would still like to go through his bullet points to try and slide some actual reason into the conversation.

1. Female privilege is being able to walk down the street at night without people crossing the street because they're automatically afraid of you.

2. Female privilege is being able to approach someone and ask them out without being labeled "creepy."

3. Female privilege is being able to get drunk and have sex without being considered a rapist. Female privilege is being able to engage in the same action as another person but be considered the innocent party by default.

Let's bunch some of the rape-y points together and get them over with. Yes, it sucks when a woman on the street clearly feels safer on the other side of the street than you. However, if you think for a second that her fear is somehow a privilege then I'm going to have to assume someone once touched you inappropriately with a dictionary. Yes, her fear is a greater cause for alarm than your hurt feelings.

As for being able to ask someone out without being labeled creepy, look around you. The world is full of married and dating heterosexual couples. Clearly there's a whole lot of non-creepy asking out a-going on. Maybe you could ask some living people for tips instead of the sock puppets you fashioned out of your masturbatory aids.

The drunk thing... as a writer I am intimately aware of the different stages of inebriation. Let me draw a line for people for whom this problem seems to come up an alarming number of times. If a women is sober enough to argue with you coherently while standing unassisted on her own two feet then she is probably sober enough to consent. If she's unconscious, unresponsive, incoherent, or unable to stand because the room is spinning, that's a good point to call it a night and try again when she's not hammered. This is not rocket science.

4. Female privilege is being able to turn on the TV and see yourself represented in a positive way. Female privilege is shows like King of Queens and Everybody Loves Raymond where women are portrayed as attractive, competent people while men are shown as ugly, lazy slobs.

Hey, I wish there were a few less "clueless dads" in commercials, but sometimes I comfort myself with the fact that nearly every protagonist in film and television is a chisel-jawed white male. If two examples are all that are needed to establish a premise then I present Don Draper, Sherlock Holmes, and The Doctor. Your move.

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