Describe This Movie In One Simpsons Quote:
BART: Listen to yourself, man. You're hangin' with nerds.Brief Plot Synopsis: Dungeons? Check. Dragons? Check. We good.
HOMER: You take that back!
MARGE: Homer, please. These boys sound very nice, but they're clearly nerds.
HOMER: Really? But nerds are my mortal enemy!
Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: 4.5 Robbie Wheelings out of 5.
Tagline: "Who needs heroes when you have thieves?"
Better Tagline: "Hack and slash with a heart."
Not So Brief Plot Synopsis: Edgin the bard (Chris Pine) and Holga the barbarian (Michelle Rodriguez) have been imprisoned for robbing a keep so Edgin could obtain a Tablet of Resurrection to bring back his wife, who was slain by the evil Red Wizards. The two release themselves of their own recognizance and learn that another member of their party, Forge (Hugh Grant), escaped capture to become Lord of Neverwinter. He has the tablet, but is disinclined to return it (he's also been lying to Edgin's daughter Kira about her dad). Edgin and Holga decide to get a team together to raid Forge's vault, retrieve the tablet, and get Kira back. They just have to get past Forge's sorcerous advisor Sofina (Daisy Head) first.
"Critical" Analysis: A deeply annoying trend of movie reviews in the online era has been the tendency of the writers to do deep dives into their oh-so precious personal experience regarding either the movie itself or their history with the genre. It's a phenomenon similar to those recipe bloggers who feel compelled to offer a generational history of the cast iron pan they used to braise a London broil.
So let me tell you about me and Dungeons & Dragons.
My first interaction with the game was paging through a friend's Monster Manual in 5th or 6th grade. I remember my parents getting me the Basic Set when I was 12 or so, and then I was off. My friends and I mostly stuck with AD&D through college, skipping 2nd Edition, and moving on to 3E after I'd entered "adulthood."
I stopped playing shortly after the birth of my first kid, which not so coincidentally coincided with my starting to review movies. But I've retained enough memories of those nerdy days of yore to tell you Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is an absolute blast.
Will it be more rewarding for those with actual Cheetos-stained hands-on experience in the real of fantasy role-playing? Somewhat. Co-directors Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley (Vacation, Game Night) are nerds of the highest order, and bring that sensibility to the table, delivering a movie replete with Easter eggs aimed at the game's aficionados (see how many Forgotten Realms name drops you can identify).
Those are "nice to haves" during the course of the movie, they aren't necessary for the rest of the audience's enjoyment. The plot is fairly straightforward, as Ed and Holga team up with sorcerer Simon (Justice Smith) and druid Doric (Sophia Lillis) to obtain the Tablet of Resurrection. There's betrayal, melee battles, and a menagerie of fantastic beasts you can enjoy without fattening a transphobe's wallet.
And the action sequences more than match the rapid-fire script. A key castle chase makes similar ones from The Hobbit look like hot garbage, and the fight scenes are a treat, wisely focusing on Rodriguez's physicality while highlighting the ways in which a multi-class group of adventurers would successfully work together.
I wasn't quite as sold on the film's depiction of magic, faithful though it may have been to the game. Whatever, I usually played rogues.
D&D: HAT* continues Hollywood's wearying reliance on green screens and CGI, but the casting more than makes up for it. A charming Pine and taciturn Rodriguez have real chemistry, and Regé-Jean Page's paladin, Xenk Yendar, is dead on for that character class (haughtily sincere, and badass). Grant is perfectly cast as a smarmy prick, while Lillis's charm proves It and I Am Not Okay With This weren't flukes.
True, the dialogue teeters on the edge of being too clever for its own good, and even the most callow of players would've figured out the double-cross before Edgin and company. But that's kind of the point: your party isn't allowed to act on information that you, the player, might already be aware of. In that sense, the movie creates a nifty loophole to hand-wave away dumb character actions.
For D&D players, how well the movie reflects the spirit of the game probably depends on who you played it with. My past campaigns had a lot of humor and chaos, and Goldstein and Daley have captured that magnificently.
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is a delight that even those unfamiliar with the game will enjoy immensely. It's packed with enough action, laughs, and heart to entertain any family whose parents aren't still mired in a Satanic panic mindset. The movie may not roll a natural 20, but it's got the hit dice to make up for it.
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is in theaters today.
* Did you have a D&D hat? Mine was St. Louis Cardinals baseball cap.
