Title: Novocaine
Describe This Movie Using One Predator Quote:
BLAIN: Come on in. Ol’ Painless is waitin’.
Brief Plot Synopsis: Numb nebbish kneecaps ne’er-do-wells.
Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: 3 Kid Moes out of 5
Tagline: “Meet Nathan Caine. He can’t feel pain.”
Better Tagline: “The pain in Spain fails mainly on the Caine.”
Not So Brief Plot Synopsis: Nathan Caine (Jack Quaid) is a mild-mannered assistant manager at a San Diego bank. Oh, and he also has a rare genetic disorder that makes him unable to feel pain. Probably should’ve led with that. Anyway, his cautious existence is thrown into disarray when Sherry (Amber Midthunder), the new teller he’s fallen for, is kidnapped by bank robbers, forcing him to turn his disability into the best chance to get her back.
“Critical” Analysis: I’m going to start this review with an unusual request: that you don’t watch the trailer embedded above. Yes, it sounds counterintuitive, and while I’ve pretty much given up on trailers altogether, the one for Novocaine goes way overboard in spoiling some of the movie’s best gags.
Directors Dan Berk and Robert Olsen (Stake Land II, Villains) make some inspired choices with Caine’s disorder (congenital insensitivity to pain, or CIP), which — while played for laughs — sounds pretty horrifying. Most people with CIP die in childhood because they’re unaware of injuries or advancing symptoms of disease. This factoid is brought up by a few of Nathan’s childhood “friends” who, upon seeing him with Sherry at a bar, remark how surprised they are to find him alive.
Because they regularly beat his ass for fun, you see.
Where the machine breaks down is in the fact that Novocaine is a one-trick pony. Quaid is affable enough (and has his dad’s recognizable grin) but insensitivity to body trauma should only take you so far. Unless there was some youthful martial arts training we weren’t informed of (which is doubtful, considering his parents mostly kept him under lock and key as a kid), Nathan’s successful melees against better trained opponents are hard to believe.
One of those opponents is ringleader Simon, played by Ray Nicholson (son of Jack, Smile 2), who lends some real Cro-mag asshole energy to the proceedings. And his mostly comedic psychosis only increases as Nathan continues to monkey wrench his post-heist plans.
A bigger problem is how Berk and Olsen shelve Amber Midthunder (Prey) for a good stretch of the film. Sherry is, honestly, a more interesting character than Nathan. She does play a meatier role on the back end, giving her a brief chance to overcome being the damsel in distress.
Pursuing the bank robbers and Nathan are detectives Mincy and Coltraine, played by Betty Gabriel (Get Out, It Lives Inside) and Matt Walsh (not the fascist, the one from Veep). Aside from the latter doing his Walshiest best, their mostly hands-off behavior regarding Nathan’s shenanigans is a little hard to swallow given how many San Diego cops were killed in the heist. A robbery they’re at least partially convinced Nathan himself had something to do with.
Berk and Olsen take the Novocaine concept as far as they can, with Quaid, Midthunder, and the rest offering ample support. But as the drawn-out lead up to the action proves, there’s not much to prop up the violence. Fortunately for them, in this case, that violence is enough to carry the day.
But seriously, don’t watch that trailer.
Novocaine is in theaters today.
